


How to Save a Life (in 7 Days)

by GonewithFantasy



Series: Just some stories about omega Jaskier [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alpha Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Caring Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Coming Untouched, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion is Called Julian, M/M, Omega Jaskier | Dandelion, Omega Verse, Rape Recovery, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, abused jaskier, smut in chapter 12 (so be patient xD)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:47:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28196397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonewithFantasy/pseuds/GonewithFantasy
Summary: "10 coins of silver and he's all yours, witcher. […] He's no use to me like that."Omega Jaskier(/Julian) has been kept as a slave by a cruel alpha who let any paying customer have their way with him during his heats. Whether due to mental shock or simply malnourishment, Jaskier stopped going into heats and his owner decides to get rid of him for good – one way or the other.When Jaskier is saved by Geralt, he's already given up on life and plans on starving himself to death. Geralt strikes a deal with him: 7 days to convince the omega that life is worth living. In case he doesn't succeed, he has to grant Jaskier a merciful and painless death.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Just some stories about omega Jaskier [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041939
Comments: 266
Kudos: 571





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I really thought torturing poor Jaskier so that Geralt could nurse him back to health in my first hurt/comfort story (Of Broken Lutes and Caring Witchers) was enough - turns out it wasn't and I had to go and do it in the omega verse as well. :D

Geralt was on his way back from a successful monster hunt, trophy strapped to Roach's saddle, when another rider came his way, dragging something on a leash behind him. The man was clearly an alpha, Geralt could smell it right away. To his dismay, the witcher realized that the something on the leash was in fact a person. A young man, hair black with filth, wearing nothing but a few dirty rags that did nothing to cover up the cuts and bruises that were visible on almost every inch of his exposed skin. His bones were sticking out and it seemed like a mystery that he could even walk alongside the horse of his...master? Owner? Geralt hated either of these words, but they were the most fitting coming to his mind.

Aside from the young man's sorry – or rather: alarming – state, there was another thing that caught the witcher's attention. The young man didn't seem to smell of anything. Well, of course he smelled of dirt and blood, and the wave of fear coming from him was simply overwhelming, but...he didn't seem to smell of any second gender at all. No musky alpha scent, not the sweetness of an omega nor the faint odor of a beta.

If Geralt hadn't been a witcher, he probably wouldn't have noticed it, since regular people only became aware of these kinds of scents when they were either really close to the other person or the person was currently in heat or rut. However, with his enhanced senses, Geralt had immediately picked up on it.

He stared at the other rider. At this moment, the young man stumbled, almost fell to his knees and choked desperately on the collar that was connected to the leash, dragging him forward.

"That's it!" the rider exclaimed. "I'm sick of it!" He looked up at Geralt as if he'd only noticed him just then. "A witcher, aren't you?"

"What gave it away?" Geralt asked with a wry smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Well, first, there's the two swords you're carrying with you, then the trophy tied to your saddle and thirdly, ..." The man's voice trailed off as he realized that it had merely been a rhetorical question. That only seemed to fuel his anger. He pulled harshly on the reigns, dismounted from his horse and tugged so forcefully on the young man's leash that he fell down on the ground for good this time.

"You don't happen to be interested in buying an omega by any chance, witcher? 50 silver, what do you say?"

Geralt was so confused that he simply skipped commenting on the fact that he had just been offered to buy a human being. Instead he just answered: "He doesn't smell like an omega."

"Alright fine, whatever. The little bitch doesn't go into heats anymore, only God knows why. Doesn't earn me any coin that way, an omega without heats, how am I supposed to work with that? Screw it, you know what? 10 coins of silver and he's all yours, witcher. If you don't want him, fine, then I'll just dispose of him, he's just no use to me like that."

The smell of fear now came off in thick waves from the young man who was still kneeling on the floor, visibly shivering.

The witcher's stony face showed absolutely no change in expression. His eyes flickered up to the other man's face, who obviously thought that Geralt was busy considering his offer. In fact, Geralt eyed the spot right beneath the man's left ear. One deft cut made by one of his swords, hell, even a stab with the stiletto knife he always kept hidden in his right boot would do the trick. He'd only need to pretend he was reaching for his pouch, it would be quick.

Then he realized he didn't wish for quick. What he was wishing for was something long and painful, lasting for days and... His mind was flooded with ideas and visions, unbidden and abominable. Geralt snapped out of it and his eyes darted over to the young man still shivering and fearing for his life. In hindsight, he couldn't tell what exactly it was that made him settle on his decision, and frankly, he didn't care to analyze.

It almost felt to the witcher like it was someone else who slowly reached for his pouch, counted and handed the coin over to the other man. He still felt numb and not at all like himself when the man mounted his horse and quickly galloped away.

When Geralt came to, he found himself alone in the woods – well, not exactly alone. He had a horse by his side and an omega at his feet. The witcher had absolutely no idea how he should proceed.

Gently, he took a step towards the omega who winced but didn't move away from him. Probably because he didn't dare to, knowing that even if Geralt hadn't been a witcher, he wouldn't have stood the slightest chance at outrunning him.

"Alright, let's take this off," Geralt said in what he hoped would be a soothing voice. He slowly reached for the leash and unfastened it from the collar. The omega winced again but made no attempt to flee. "There you go." Geralt tried to get the collar off as well, but there didn't seem to be a clasp to it. "Umm, you don't happen to know how to take this off, do you?" he inquired, voice still soft and calming.

At first, the omega didn't react. Then, almost as if panicking that he hadn't answered right away, he quickly shook his head, staring wide-eyed at the witcher's feet, obviously afraid to look him in the eye.

Geralt sighed. Instantly, the omega winced for the third time and his shivers increased. He obviously thought he had said something wrong. Geralt suppressed the urge to sigh again, this time because he was beginning to realize how very traumatized the young man obviously was.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to cut it off then, alright? Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. Just hold still, can you do that?"

The omega seemed confused, but then he nodded quickly, as if he was desperate to answer Geralt's questions as fast as possible, like something bad would happen to him if he didn't. Then he froze like a statue, closing his eyes. He wasn't even breathing.

Geralt grabbed his stilleto knife and moved it toward the omega's collar. The second he was about to cut through the leather, tears ran down the omega's cheeks and he started to tremble. The witcher stopped immediately and pulled the knife back. "Shhhht," he whispered. He really wasn't experienced in comforting people at all, especially not people who were apparently expecting he would kill them. The omega's eyes remained closed and he started to sob. It was quiet, but what truly touched the witcher was the utter sense of hopelessness that radiated from the young man.

Suddenly, the omega opened his eyes and stared directly into Geralt's. The witcher noticed that they were a deep blue, making his gaze much more intense than he had expected it to be. "Do it, I'm ready," he said, squeezing his eyes shut again, sounding grave and absolutely determined.

Geralt had already started to move the knife towards the collar again when he realized that the omega had obviously not been talking about the collar when he'd uttered those words. When the omega sensed Geralt's hesitation, he confirmed the witcher's suspicion: "Gods please, make it quick, I know you can... ," his voice started to break. "Just make it end, I'm begging you – it will end anyways, in a week or two, just please spare me the suffering, if there's even a shred of kindness in you..."

The witcher was shocked about the omega's words. He clearly didn't seem to understand that he was free now, allowed to go wherever he wanted. Instead, he just begged him to take his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make me really happy and I'll reply to every single comment! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the next chapter, enjoy! :) (Or rather: have fun suffering alongside Jaskier...)

Geralt quickly stored his knife away. He didn't dare throwing it down on the ground as a gesture of peace, risking the omega would reach for it to finish what he thought the witcher had planned for him.

_Alright, the collar will have to stay on for now,_ Geralt thought.

He decided to try a different approach instead. He calmy sat down in the dirt next to the omega and after a minute of silence, he started speaking. "Look, you're free from now on. You can go home. Do you want me to get you home?"

At first, the omega didn't react, then he shook his head. "Do you want to go alone?" Geralt asked.

The omega shook his head again and whispered: "I have no home. You can do to me whatever you like, nobody is gonna come looking for me and there is nowhere for me to go. But you probably already know that and even if, by some sort of miracle, this is not you making fun of my situation, there is no harm in telling you about this." He gulped and continued: "...because I truly have nothing to lose anymore." Apparently, the prospect of ending his own life seemed to fill the omega with a certain calmness that washed away his fear, allowing him to speak plainly.

Geralt was rapidly running out of ideas on how to gain the omega's trust. Then he eyed his emaciated figure and remembered that there was at least one thing he could do for him. He got up and rummaged through his saddlebags until he found some dried meat. He slowly sat back down and held it out, trying to hand it to the omega.

The omega's reaction startled Geralt because he just seemed to laugh at the gesture. It was a bitter laugh though, and he didn't take the food. Geralt was absolutely baffled. "Look, I didn't know I would find you today, do you think I always carry around some poisoned food with me, just in case I happen to come across someone I can kill with it?" To prove his point, he took a bite, chewed and swallowed. But that made the omega laugh even harder until it mixed with his sobs.

Suddenly it dawned on the witcher. He remembered what the omega had said about 'it' going to end soon anyways. The young man wasn't afraid that the food was poisoned. He was afraid that it was not. Geralt winced inwardly. He put the dried meat down on the ground.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then Geralt spoke again: "May I propose something?"

"Nothing's keeping you from it," the omega – that even up close still didn't smell like an omega at all – replied. All emotions seemed to have left him, judging by his tone.

"Alright, here it goes," the witcher took a deep breath. "Give me four weeks to prove to you that life is worth living."

The omega tilted his head, his fear of the witcher apparently all but forgotten at the moment. "I can see that saving me would bring your soul some sort of comfort. But what's in it for me, what makes this option better than ending it right now? What do you have to offer?"

Geralt swallowed. Then he answered: "Maybe nothing."

The omega shot him and incredulous look.

"But maybe everything," Geralt continued. "A better life, a future, finding love, a family...someone you love and someone who loves you back..." He realized how awfully quickly he was running out of reasons and started to repeat himself. He feverishly kept thinking and added: "Hell, don't let him win. Don't give up now...you say he's already taken everything from you. You're still alive. Don't let him take this from you, too. Look him in the eyes one day and show him that he didn't break you. For yourself and for everyone who couldn't do it."

Suddenly Geralt understood why he had let that man get away with his life. Well, at least he liked to tell himself that he'd all planned it out like that right from the start. In truth, he still had no idea what exactly had made him act like this, but he was glad about it.

The young man beside him still didn't seem convinced. Geralt sighed and continued: "Fine. And in case I can't convince you to keep on living, I promise you, I'll find a truly painless way to make it end. Something that doesn't involve a knife to your throat. You won't even have to feel a thing." The witcher had absolutely no idea whether he had it in him to keep that kind of promise. He could only hope that he would never be forced to find out.

"One," the omega whispered. "I give you one week."

Geralt swallowed hard. "Three," he haggled.

The omega remained silent.

"Two?" Geralt tried, thinking they might meet each other half way.

The omega shook his head. "One."

Geralt ran a hand through his hair. There was no more room for negotiation, no arguments. He sighed. "You'll have to eat properly during this week, three meals a day plus enough water. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They shook hands, sealing their pact. Here they were, sitting side by side in the middle of a muddy trail, wet dirt soaking into their pants, negotiating about the number of days until the omega would try to end his life again, for good this time...it was simply surreal.

Geralt offered the dried meat to the omega once more. "Eat." It was almost a command.

The omega swallowed and took a deep breath, then he did as he was told.

When he'd finished eating, the witcher inquired: "Alright, if we're to spend the next seven days together," S _even_ _days,_ he thought. _So little time... "._..then you have to give me a name to go by."

The omega shrugged. It didn't matter anyways. Nothing mattered anymore. "Julian."

"Alright, Julian. I'm Geralt."

Geralt felt like he had no time to waste – and he really didn't have any.

"Come one, let's get you on my horse and we'll ride." "Where to?" the young man he now knew to be Julian asked.

"To my home, to the home of the witchers of the wolf school," Geralt answered.

Julian shrugged and Geralt mounted Roach. Then he bent down and grabbed the omega by the waist, gently lifting him up to sit behind him. Julien winced in pain, his former master had had his way with him for one last time the day before he'd decided to either sell him or to 'get rid of him'.

But Julian kept quiet. There wasn't much he could do about it anyways. Besides, he was used to suffering in silence and had given up complaining long ago. So he just sat there, gritting his teeth, and holding on to Geralt's hips to steady him. The scent of an alpha would usually have scared him, but the prospect that it would all be over in seven days gave him a strange sense of calmness.

After some time, he could feel his pants get wet and warm where his bottom touched the saddle, it was probably the mud warming up to his body temperature. The pain had gotten worse as well. Lovely.


	3. Chapter 3

After four hours of riding, they finally reached a castle. Geralt's home, home of the witchers.

Geralt slid out of the saddle and extended his arms to gently help Julian down as well. The witcher was shocked when he found that the saddle underneath him was practically soaked in blood, so were the omega's pants. He gave Julien an alarmed stare. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

But Julien just smiled mildly and replied in a tone as if he was talking about the weather: "Oh look, my body finally got the memo and starts giving up as well." Geralt shook his head insistently. "Nonsense, you're injured and riding made it worse, that's all. Your body is fighting to survive with all it has, it just needs you to help it." The witcher had to suppress the urge to grab the other man by his shoulders and shake him to make him snap out of his apathy, to make him feel again. But he also knew that this would take so much more than a simple shake.

The nearest healer was a two days ride away from Kaer Morhen and Geralt didn't even know if she was experienced in treating these kinds of injuries. So he was left with no choice but to lift Julian up in order to carry him to a bed in an empty room in the castle's east wing and hope for the best.

The omega froze and winced at the sudden closeness to the alpha. Even though they had been close as well during the ride, this seemed to be an entirely different matter. Geralt frowned. Usually, an alpha's scent would calm an omega, any alpha's scent. But then again, usually, most alphas wouldn't hurt an omega. They would fight over one, sure, but the omega would never get hurt physically in the process. Geralt had never witnessed an omega being treated as harshly as that other alpha had been treating Julian. So it should actually come as no surprise to him that Julian apparently had been conditioned to experience fear instead of calmness whenever he smelled an alpha's scent.

Geralt suddenly wished for a way to mask his own scent, however, there was just no way of doing so.

The witcher was carrying Julian through the gate when he was met by Lambert whose eyes went wide with disbelief at the sight of the abused human being in Geralt's arms. "Geralt, what...? Who...? ...no," the other witcher ended weakly, instantly knowing that it wasn't Geralt who was to blame for this. He moved closer, trying to catch Julian's scent, only to be left utterly confused.

Geralt quickly introduced them to each other and started explaining. Julian had tensed up even more with the smell of two alphas surrounding him. Lambert seemed to sense it and quickly went off to fetch him some clean clothes, as this was clearly not the time for extensive talks with the omega scared and bleeding like this. Geralt made it to the room and put the omega down on his feet. The room was empty, safe for a tub, a bed and a nightstand, but it had a hearth, which was the main reason why Geralt had picked it.

Looking at the blood that had soaked through Julian's pants, the witcher asked: "Do you think you are in any condition to take a bath or at least clean your wounds a little bit? If you just want to rest, that's fine too. Or is there anything else I can get you?"

If it had been any other kind of wound, Geralt would probably have known how to treat it. How to patch it up and make it heal, but this? He could only hope that it would just stop bleeding on its own. He could not help but hate himself for not noticing how riding Roach had been hurting the omega, how he hadn't been paying attention to the faint smell of fresh blood so that he could have told it apart from the scent of old blood already covering the omega.

"I think I'll manage to clean the wounds," Julian answered quietly.

"Alright, I'm gonna fetch you some water for the tub. Can I leave you alone in here without you doing anything stupid?" Geralt asked, his words softened by the tone of his voice.

Julian glanced around, then he shrugged and nodded, his face carrying an expression of utter indifference. Like the world could burn around him and he would just stand there, waiting patiently for the fire to burn him, too.

The witcher sighed and went to get some warm (not hot!) water and slowly filled up the tub. He also brought soap and a washcloth. He was aware that with all of the omega's injuries, it would probably not be a pleasant experience, but leaving his wounds uncleaned like that might lead to infection.

Lambert had left the clean clothes in front of the door and Geralt put them down on the bed.

"I'll give you some privacy now," Geralt announced and turned to head out of the room when he suddenly heard the omega chuckle. There was absolutely no joy in it.

"You know, I really don't know if you're doing this out of some weird, misguided urge to be some sort of savior or something, or if you're simply a sadist who enjoys giving me hope at first before... Well maybe you just want me clean and in a slightly better condition before you fuck me. In that case, I bet you'll have a good laugh about me complying like that, once you're outside that door." The complete absence of hope seemed to make Julian more talktative, but his choice of words and the mindset they revealed made it hard for Geralt to be glad about it.

The witcher realized that in that seven days, he would not only have to find the one thing that would spark the omega's will to live again, but he'd also have to convince him that he had nothing to fear from Geralt, that he could trust him.

The witcher took a deep breath and answered: "Julian, I don't know what to do or what to tell you that will make you believe me. All I know is that I only have seven days to figure it out and that this scares me." The omega just stared back at him with that innocent blue eyes that sharply contrasted the expression of bitterness he was carrying.

Sensing that he would get no answer, Geralt left the room to fetch him some healing herbs that would hopefully stop the bleeding.

When he returned, he waited outside the door for a bit, giving Julian time to properly clean himself. When the splashing of water stopped and he could hear the omega putting on the new clothes, he asked: "Are you done?"

"I guess so," Julian responded.

"Can I come in?"

"It's your home."

"But it's your room now," the witcher stated, hoping it would provide Julian with some sense of self-determination.

The omega was silent for a moment and Geralt was wondering what might be going through his mind. Then he heard him say: "Alright, then I don't want you to come in." He was obviously testing Geralt's reaction.

"Okay. I have brought you some herbs that will help with the pain and hopefully with the bleeding, but the tea still needs to steep a little bit longer," the witcher replied.

"Then come in once it's ready."

Julian could hear the witcher's footsteps move away. He felt himself relax a little. The clothes he was wearing now smelled fresh and clean and it had felt good to wash the dirt off from his skin, even though it had inevitably made his wounds burn. He was still hurting down there as well, making it almost impossible for him to walk more than a few steps, and he wasn't sure if he was still bleeding. However, he wasn't _that_ scared, since this wasn't his first time bleeding down there and it had always stopped at some point eventually. Besides, the humiliation about it was actually much worse than his fear that he might be seriously injured (but not worse than the physical pain).

He looked around the room and suddenly he felt so lost and small, he almost regretted choosing to be in there all by himself. He had no idea what to do until Geralt would come back. With his previous owner, he'd spent his time beeing either tied up, fucked or forced to travel alongside his master. So he just sat down on the bed (reeeally carefully, because everything was hurting) and waited.

He had no idea what to think of the white-haired witcher. He seemed so calm and collected all the time, yet he was surrounded by a raw and primal energy, buzzing just beneath the surface. Julian absolutely couldn't tell if he was truly kind or not, which was strange. Usually, he could read people's intentions by just looking into their eyes, however, his talent seemed not to include the cat-like eyes of witchers. He couldn't help but wonder what it was that witcher had seen in him.

He was torn between fearing Geralt – not only because he was an alpha but because he was obviously something else, something not entirely human – and wanting to view him as his protector. Suddenly he started to wonder why he was giving all of this so much thought when it would all be over in a week, anyway.

Did it even matter what Geralt truly saw in him as long as he kept his word, ending Julian's life a week from now, quickly and painlessly, just the way he'd promised him? And then he wondered why he was even trusting Geralt to keep his promise. There was nothing binding the witcher to it, except some words spoken to an omega that no one in the world cared about. But there had been something about this witcher that made him think that he was not a liar, at least not in a conversation like that. He was pretty sure that Geralt could be cunning and incredibly fierce, even though he hadn't seen prove of either trait yet, and he knew for a fact that he was also very controlled and observant. But all of these traits could be witnessed in both good and bad people... He absently ran his fingers through his hair – which was surprisingly soft without all of the dirt sticking to it.

Julian snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock at his door. "Julian, it's me, the tea's ready. May I come in now?"

"Yes!" the omega called, almost relieved to have company again.


	4. Chapter 4

Along with the tea, Geralt had brought him some bread and cheese. "Eat," he said, using his almost-a-command voice once more. The bread was still warm from the oven and despite himself, Julien found himself enjoying the meal. Afterwards, Geralt handed him the cup of tea.

Julian drew the mug to his lips and, after hesitating briefly, he started swallowing the warm liquid. It tasted sweet and he was surprised when he recognized the taste of honey. The only time he'd ever had some honey was when one of his master's former customers had thought he'd accidently killed the omega while raping him. Finding out that he hadn't had left him so glad that he'd fed him a spoonful of the sweet treat, reminding him that his master mustn't know about this incident.

Julian remembered how a part of him had regretted that the customer had noticed and removed the choking grip on his throat just in time.

Absently, his hand had travelled towards his throat where the collar was still resting around his neck. _Fresh bread and honey. What did that witcher want from him?_

Once he'd finished the meal, Julian felt very full. However, he was still on the good side of full, not feeling nauseous but comfortably tired. He settled against a pillow on the bed and started to tug at the sheets. A look outside the large window revealed that it was slowly getting dark.

At once, Julian could feel a wave of exhaustion washing over him and he was beginning to shuffle into a horizontal position.

"Don't fall asleep just yet," the witcher said to his surprise. "There's still something I need you to do." His hand travelled towards the right side of his pants.

Julian immediately snapped out of his relaxed state. _What did he mean? Was he expecting some kind of service from him in return? Of course he would, why else would he have treated him so kindly, bordering on downright spoiling him? Oh Gods, how he hoped the witcher wouldn't fuck him like that, he was still hurting so badly. - Wait, had the tea been spiked with something so he wouldn't be able to struggle against the witcher while he would take him?! Shit, he had been all wrong, even with everything taken from him, there was still a way for it to get worse, there always was._

Julian jumped up from the bed. He stared at the witcher, eyes blown wide with fear – and then something strange happened. The omega collapsed and curled up on the floor with his head tilted backwards so that his throat was bared. His whole body went rigid and his gaze became empty and unfocused. It reminded Geralt of someone having a seizure. Then a wet spot spread across at the omega's crotch and he remained completely motionless for a long minute.

For a second there, Geralt thought the omega was dying. He extended his hand in order to touch him, but suddenly his alpha instincts kicked in and he sensed that this was a display of complete and utter submission. It was nothing that the omega was doing deliberately and Geralt had never seen this in any other person before, omega or otherwise. It was definitely not part of everyday alpha-omega communication but the message was clear as day: _I'm begging you, please don't touch me. I surrender._

Geralt noticed that even if he'd have wanted to touch Julian right now (an innocent, comforting touch, mind you), his alpha instincts simply hadn't allowed him to. Apparently, this was some sort of nature's last resort to protect an omega from being taken by an alpha.

If it hadn't been so sad, Geralt would have been fascinated by the effect it had on him, probably on any alpha. Under this circumstances, however, he simply felt sorry for Julian. On the bright side, if there even was a bright side to it, Geralt couldn't make out any fresh blood soaking through the young man's pants.

After a while, the omega's muscles started to relax a little. He slowly lifted his head and blinked a few times, his gaze dazed and confused. He had obviously no idea what had happened.

"Julian? _Julian!_ It's okay, please come back to me..."

The omega realized that he was lying on the floor, curled up into a tight ball, and obviously, he had wet his pants. He became aware of the alpha's presence and his breathing instantly turned fast and ragged while his heart was pounding loudly in his chest. "W-what do you want from me?" he managed to get out.

"Relax," the witcher answered, sounding almost...insecure? "Look, it was just an empty piece of paper I was reaching for. The motion scared you and then your body went into a state of total submission in order to tell me to stay away." Geralt waited for a moment so that Julian could take in his words. Then he added: "Do you now how to write?"

Julian glanced up at the witcher, not able to make sense of the situation. He forced himself to slow down his breathing and scrambled to his feet. Once he'd managed to get up, he answered: "Umm, yes?"

Before he had presented as an omega, his mother had actually hired a teacher to give him lessons in all sorts of things. Both of his parents had had big hopes for him to study some day but when he'd presented as an omega, their world had fallen apart. They hadn't expected it at all, as male omegas were extremely rare. They were often viewed as some kind of freaks, being both able to sire and conceive children, and while apparently people took great pleasure in fucking a male omega, no one wanted to see them study at a university or even work a regular job. It had become obvious that he wouldn't be able to support his family and was set out to be a liability, so they had made the painful, yet necessary decision to sell him to a slave trader.

"That's good," the witcher interrupted his thoughts. "I want you to write down one thing that made you want to be alive today. And I also want you to write down an explanation for it. In the meantime, I'm gonna go fetch you another pair of pants."

Julian glared at him, still not fully understanding what was going on. When Geralt was almost out the door, he whispered: "There was none."

The witcher sighed. "Alright, then just write down the best thing you experienced today." With that, he left the room.

Julian hesitantly picked up the piece of paper and the pen Geralt had handed to him and sat back down on the floor (again, reeeally carefully) in order not to soil the bed after his little accident. He leaned against the bed and rolled the pen around in his fingers, biting his lower lip. After a short while, he started to write, then stopped, crossed it out, and started again. When Geralt returned with some new pants, Julian handed him the paper, looking both defiant and broken at the same time. He put on the new pair of pants and was glad that it gave him a reason to avoid Geralt's gaze.

Geralt took the paper and immediately noticed how very neat Julian's handwriting was, making it almost look like a form of art. The words, however, made Geralt wince. The paper read:

_The best thing that happened to me today was that I wasn't raped by you because it would have hurt so bad and I wouldn't have known how to survive the pain._

Geralt's hands curled into fists and he had to take a few deep breaths before he was calm enough to answer: "Well...you're actually supposed to write about a good experience that _did_ happen and not name something you're glad about because it _didn't_ come to pass. But today, I'll let it slide because this is your first time doing this. And Julian?" Geralt waited until the omega reluctantly met his eyes. "I will never hurt you, neither like that nor otherwise. Try to get some rest now."

Geralt started a fire in the hearth and turned to leave the room when he heard Julian gasp. He turned around. "You...you just snapped your fingers and the fire lit up. Are you a mage?"

Geralt couldn't decide on whether the omega looked scared or fascinated, so he replied: "No, I'm just a witcher. If you want me to, I can show you a little more of it – later, now go to sleep, your body needs to rest."

Geralt left the room and went to his own one that was just around the corner.

Julian's head was buzzing with thoughts but he was just so very tired, so he curled up under the blanket and listened to his own heart pounding loudly in his chest. The absolute silence in the room hammered in his ears. Since he had been sold at the slave market, there hadn't been a moment in his life where he had been truly relaxed. It seemed like his body didn't even remember how to do it anymore after all this time. So he lay in bed, being overly aware of everything around him, the weight of the blanket on top of him, the way the sheets smelled... It took him a long time to finally fall into a fitful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎄 Merry Christmas everyone! 🎄

Geralt had already been asleep when he was woken by Julian's screams coming from the other room. It took him a second to remember whose voice it was and what had happened the other day, then he sped over the other room, not knowing what he would find in there.

He opened the door to see the omega lying in his bed, obviously caught up in some terrible nightmare. Geralt touched him lightly, whispering his name. Julian tossed around once more until he opened his eyes and stared at Geralt. His clothes were wet with sweat and his breathing was coming in erratic, heavy puffs. Suddenly he clasped his hand over his mouth, mumbling: "Shit, I'm gonna puke!" Once he'd said it, he immediately started heaving and Geralt moved him to the edge of the bed so that he could throw up on the floor.

When he was done, both of them realized that Geralt was holding him in his arms, steadying him. The witcher was about to let go of him but then he realized that the omega was pressing up against him, shivering all over. So instead, he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him.

They remained like this until Julian slowly stopped shaking. Interestingly, even with Julian sweaty and this close to him, Geralt still couldn't discover even the slightest trace of omega smell. He simply smelled like a child who hadn't presented yet. The witcher hadn't known that it was possible for an omega to be so traumatized that he would lose his scent in some last, desperate attempt to let everyone around him know that he was not an available sexual partner for them, but it obviously was.

Julian stirred in Geralt's arms and the witcher instantly losened the embrace. "Oh Gods, I'm so sorry, I'll clean it up right now, just tell me where to get... ," the omega stammered. Geralt instantly tightened the hug again, whispering: "Shhhht, it's alright, I'm gonna take care of it." Julian shook his head and kept rambling excuses.

"In case you don't remember, I'm a witcher. I see worse on almost every job that I take on. Really, it's not a big deal," Geralt shushed. Then he made quick work of cleaning up the mess. Julian seemed frozen in place as he watched him.

Once he was done, Geralt gently sat down on the bed again, one hand resting lightly on Julian's shoulder. They didn't speak much and the omega finally lay back down again. Geralt's presence seemed to reassure him, so the the witcher stayed. The minutes passed and Julian's breathing became deep and even again. Geralt could still feel how tense the omega was even when he was asleep.

It didn't take long until Julian started thrashing around again, whimpering in distress. Geralt immediately woke him up once more and he seemed to be less disturbed than the last time, maybe because his mind hadn't had that much time to let the gruesome scene unfold that it had undoubtedly planned out for him.

At some point, the witcher got up to get some herbs. While Julian was asleep, he cut them up on a chopping board he had placed in his lap. When he was done, he sat it down on the nightstand next to the bed, hoping the herb's calming scent would help the omega relax.

However, he really couldn't tell if their scent was even doing anything at all to help the omega, as he still had to wake Julian from his nightmares every few minutes. They did never stop, keeping Geralt from getting even a wink of sleep that night – and the omega probably didn't get that much more.

When the sun rose, Julian woke up and decided he couldn't go back to sleep again. With a sigh of relief he noticed that he was no longer bleeding. Geralt got up to visit the bathroom. He went out the door, one step, two steps. Then he froze. All of his witcher instincts were kicking in. He spun around on his heel and stormed back into the room.

Julian winced, fingers tightening around the knife Geralt had been using to cut up the herbs. It was sharp like all of Geralt's knives were. Then a shy smile crept on Julian's face, making him look like a child who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Geralt met his eyes in a firm stare of shock and disbelief.

Finally, Julian forced his fingers to relax around the knife's hilt, dropping it back on the nightstand. "Relax, I wasn't gonna use it. I'm still a coward, you know." He shrugged, still having that small, mischievous smile on his lips like it had just been some sort joke.

Geralt forced himself to take a few calming breaths. _Dammit, he had even less time to save this omega than he thought he would, so he'd really have to hurry._

Geralt didn't respond, instead, he simply walked over to the bed, snatched the knife from the nightstand and tucked it away in his pocket. He left the room again and Julian supposed the witcher was probably really angry with him. Geralt quickly returned, his face was even more stony than usual.

"Get up," he snarled. Julian was shocked at the harsh tone and immediately jumped from the bed. "Start walking." Geralt nodded towards the door.

"But I'm still hurting... ," the omega whispered. It was the truth but it was also an attempt to test Geralt's reaction.

"If you grant me more days, I will gladly have you get as much rest as you like. Do you?" the witcher replied, his voice was revealing no emotion.

"No," the omega answered flatly.

"Then keep walking." The witcher's voice was definitely cold now.

Geralt didn't talk much aside from giving Julian directions and the omega started wondering what the witcher was gonna do to him. They made it outside and were greeted by the first rays of sunlight of what promised to be wonderful summer's day.

It was a mere coincidence that both Geralt and Lambert were at Kaer Morhen at this time of the year, both only being there on a short visit to restock their supplies. Well, at least that had been Geralt's plan before he'd kind of accidently bought an omega who had obviously given up on life.

For a short moment, Julian suspected that Geralt might simply lead him into the woods and abandon him. "Where are we going?" he whispered.

"You're gonna tend to Roach," the witcher answered concisely.

_Who was Roach? And what did 'tend to' mean? Had he lost his priviledge of not being harmed by that stupid move of his?_ Julian's throat tightened and he started shivering again but he didn't stop walking. Then he gathered all the courage he could muster and asked: "Who's Roach?"

Geralt sensed that the omega was tensing up again. "Relax, she's the mare whose saddle you bled on yesterday."

Julian was still waiting for the catch. _What was he supposed to do with the horse? His mind suddenly came up with more ideas about that than he'd liked it to._

They stopped at the stables. Geralt suddenly frowned and asked: "You're good with horses, aren't you? Like, you're not afraid of them?" Jaskier considered the question, then he shook his head. "I guess not..?"

"Great! Here, spread this straw on the floor of her box, then fill up this net with hay. Once you're done, take this brush and groom her. When you're done with that as well, feed her these carrot slices, one by one, with your hand, placing it like this." Geralt grabbed a slice, put it in the palm of his hand so that it was facing upwards with his fingers extended. Take you're time – and don't be tense around her, she'll sense that."

Julian's head was buzzing with all of the instructions he'd been given, without even having eaten breakfast first. At least the clothes he'd put on yesterday weren't actually nightwear and they were doing a good job of keeping him warm. "Umm, what is she gonna do if she senses that I'm tense?" the omega asked.

"Nothing, it'll just make her nervous, too. But she won't do anything to you, she's the nicest horse I've ever owned."

With that, Geralt walked away to leave Julian alone. A moment passed in which the omega tried to grasp what this was supposed to mean. After all, this was a really strange sort of punishment. Then he called after the witcher: "Mas...– Geralt, how do I keep her from getting out when I carry the straw in? Geralt??"

"You'll figure it out," Geralt smirked, knowing that even if Roach would actually get out, she wouldn't leave Julian's side, simply waiting patiently to get her carrots. In fact, he'd let her walk out of the stable without tying her to a post all the time when he was cleaning it.

Julian hesitated. He looked at Roach who happily stretched her neck to nuzzle him but he was deliberately keeping his distance. It wasn't like he was afraid of horses, he simply wasn't used to interacting with them, so he remained careful. He took an armful of straw and and threw it inside of her stable without opening the stable door. He watched as Roach curiously started sniffing at the straw. He threw in another armful and watched Roach check it out again. He proceeded and with every armful of straw he became more aware of his surroundings.

When he was filling up the hay net, he started paying attention to the way the straw rustled when Roach stepped on it and how it felt when the hay was touching his arms. He inhaled the smell of horse and the strangely calming smell of horse droppings. He slowly reached for the brush and held it out to Roach. The mare immediately got the hint and moved closer, positioning herself in a way that Julian could brush her without having to enter her stable.

Her coat was warm and soft and he interrupted brushing it in favor of running his fingers through it a few times. At this moment, he noticed that the numbness that had surrounded him for the last few years was starting to lessen slowly but steadily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Geralt left the room once before he lead Julian/Jaskier to the stables, he actually cleaned out Roach's box and put the fresh straw nearby, so that Jaskier wouldn't have to do any hard physical work but, of course, Geralt didn't want him to know that. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

At first, he wasn't really sure if he even wanted the numbness to leave him. It was protecting him when he was already overwhelmed by sensations, usually almost none of them pleasant. But out here at the stables, everything was calm and quiet and he decided that he had no reason to be scared. He let his gaze wander over the narrow landscape, taking in how the sun was bathing the green trees and meadows in its warm light. He realized that he could hear all sorts of birds greeting the morning with their songs, melodious and larking. Crickets chirruped, weaving their own kind of music into the tapestry of sound. He kept brushing Roach as if in trance.

The omega closed his eyes and just inhaled the fragrant summer air, deepening his breath that was usually coming rather fast and shallow because he was always on alert. _I want to stay here,_ he thought. _If I cannot leave this earth this is where I want to stay._

Suddenly he felt Roach gently nudge his hand and, once she had his attention, she gestured pointedly with her nose at the slices of carrots. "Oh sorry," he mumbled. "Yeah, you've definitely earned these, haven't you?" He was feeling slightly guilty that he hadn't been able to brush her belly and legs because he couldn't reach them without opening the stable door. He could only hope that Geralt would prefer this over having his horse run free.

But then he had an idea. He reached for a carrot slice, held it out to Roach so that she could sniff it and then he threw it at the far corner of her stable. She looked at him like she wanted to say: 'What did you do that for?' But then she went off to eat it.

Julian sensed his opportunity and, before he could allow himself to have seconds thoughts about it, he slipped into the stable, closing the door behind him, hoping that Roach wouldn't notice that it was just ajar. He waited to take in Roach's reaction to him entering her stable like that. The clever mare seemed to sense that Julian wouln't be comfortable if she came closer to nudge him, so she simply nickered to let him know he was welcome.

All of Julian's senses were trained on Roach. Right now, he wasn't feeling the burning of his cuts and bruises and how he was sore down there, the sensations usually forming an everlasting background noise from the minute he woke until he fell asleep to be greeted with nightmares.

He carefully spread out the straw that he had thrown into the stable before until it was all nice and even. Roach even seemed to move out of his way to make it easier for him.

Julian had taken the brush with him and now gently approached the horse to brush all of the areas he hadn't been able to reach before. Much to his amazement, Roach held perfectly still.

When he was done, he slipped out of the door to get the carrot slices. Once he was back within Roach's stable, he realized that it probably hadn't been the best idea to hold one handful of carrot slices while trying to offer them to the horse one by one with his other hand. He could clearly see Roach's point in favoring the hand that was holding more slices. He quickly put the slices into the pocket of his pants, then placed one slice on his hand, the way Geralt had shown him, and extended it towards Roach.

As soon as Roach's mouth moved closer, he pulled back his hand without really meaning to, suddenly afraid that the mare might take more than just the carrot slice. The slice fell to the ground and Julian could have sworn he'd heard Roach utter a sigh when she had to lower her head in order to eat it.

"Sorry, I'm a really stupid human, please forgive me," Julian commented. And then he realized he was smiling. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had been smiling. Not some sarcastic grin with him seconds away from crying or an act-happy-or-I-punish-you-smile, but a real genuine expression of happiness. It felt really good.

"Alright, let's try again. But promise not to bite me, okay?"

Roach snorted. "I really hope that's a 'yes'," Julian replied. Then he placed another slice on his hand and extended it once more. Roach took it really gently with her lips and Julian could feel her warm breath ghost over his hand. His trust with Roach was slowly building and at the last carrot slice he almost didn't fear for his fingers at all.

It was strange, but being alone with this mare was somehow making him feel like he was in control. She was respecting his boundaries and her calmness just transferred to him.

Suddenly, he heard Geralt call over to the stables: "Breakfast's ready."

The omega was surprised at how very natural it felt. Him working in the stables, then joining Geralt for breakfast... But the peaceful scenery was nothing but an illusion, he reminded himself. Besides, it would all end in a week anyway.

As soon as he left the stables, he remembered why exactly it couldn't go on. His body was back to hurting almost everywhere, every step made him wince in pain and he was immediately tense again. It was almost worse than before because now that his numbness had faded a little, the sensation of pain and angst was all the more intense. He thought about going back into that castle to have breakfast with an alpha who might or might not decide that he still needed to make him experience the consequences of grabbing the knife like that. After all, surely tending to Roach couldn't have been his punishment. His head started spinning and he had to steady himself against a tree in order to keep himself upright.

Out of nowhere, the witcher appeared at his side, carrying two plates of food. Julian braced himself and took a few deep breaths. "Are you hungry?" Geralt asked gently.

The omega was feeling nauseaus. "Not really... ," he admitted.

"That's alright," Geralt answered to Julian's surprise. "Follow me, I know a beautiful place to spend a morning like this." He nodded towards a path leading to a group of trees.

Julian's heart started pounding loudly in his chest and his throat tightened again. Had the alpha given up on making him get better before having his way with him? Had he grown impatient and decided to just fuck him somewhere in the woods right now?

Julian kept his head down and followed the witcher. He didn't hear the birds chirping their happy songs nor did he feel the sunlight warming his skin. His mind was showing him all kinds of scenarios of what might happen, not a single one pleasant to him. Walking hurt.

The witcher didn't rush him and they slowly made their way through the woods until they came to a river. A large fallen tree lay across the river, serving as a bridge to the other side. Geralt simply walked across it, his steps never wavering while he was still carrying the two plates.

Julian stopped. Then he tentatively put one foot on the trunk. Geralt waited silently at the other side. He had put the plates down on the ground and watched the omega. Carefully, Julian placed his second foot on it as well. Step by step, he slowly made it to the middle of the trunk. He watched the rushing waters beneath his feet and suddenly, he got scared. He stopped, afraid to walk any further, yet also afraid to turn back.

Geralt stepped on the trunk again and extended his hand to Julian. The omega hesitated, then he took it and together they made it to the other side.

They found themselves standing in a clearing filled with lots of colorful flowers. Large oaks, birches and a few other trees that Julian didn't immediately recognize were surrounding it. Geralt sat down on the soft moss and sighed contentedly. Between jumping down from the trunk and catching sight of the flowers, Julian hadn't really had time to tense up again, so he simply sat down next to the witcher.

Geralt sat one plate down on the ground so that Julian could reach for it if he wanted to, but didn't explicitely offer it to him.

He placed the other one in his lap and started eating. On each plate were three slices of bread, one with cheese, one with ham and one with honey. The omega watched him eat.

Suddenly, Geralt stopped and whispered: "Be quiet and don't move, okay?" Julian could sense that it wasn't meant to warn him of some danger it was simply...a request? He was confused. Was there actually an underlying request for forgiveness in the witcher's voice because of what he was about to do to him?

Strangely enough, the prospect of it didn't scare him as much as it simply made him sad. He imagined what it would feel like to be pressed down into these beautiful flowers, realizing that he'd been cheated into allowing himself the smallest bit of hope, hope that he might get to spend his final week on earth in peace. Two tears spilled and ran silently down his cheeks.

Geralt took the ham off of his bread, pulled off the crust and then started tearing the soft part of the bread into tiny pieces. For a second, Julian wondered if it was a sign of the witcher being at odds with himself, unable to decide whether to do this to Julian or not. Geralt threw the bread crumbs in front of him and then sat completely still. Had he made his decision?

Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by several faint chirping noises. Out of the underbrush came a brown pheasant hen, followed by several small chicks, maybe two days old. The hen suspiciously eyed the witcher. A few moments passed. Then one of her chicks darted forward and began pecking at the crumbs. It was quickly joined by its siblings and, eventually, its mother.

When Geralt realized that some of the crumbs were too big for the chicks, he made sure to make his next handful of crumbs even smaller. Julian was in awe, even though his cheeks were still wet with tears. The chicks were tiny, yellow with dark stripes on their backs, all of them chirping loudly while frantically trying to eat all of the crumbs before their siblings did.

They just sat and watched until the hen called her chicks to her with a low whistle and together, they retreated back into the underbrush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go look up 'pheasant chicks' they're sooo cute when they still have the dark stripes :)


	7. Chapter 7

"We should go back," Geralt suggested. "You almost didn't sleep at all last night, surely you must be exhausted."

Julian took in the peaceful clearing and, for the first time since he was around Geralt, he became aware of the sun warming his skin. "Can't we just...stay a little longer? - I'll eat the bread if we stay, see?" He quickly grabbed the slice with cheese on it, took a few bites and chewed pointedly. Geralt couldn't help but smile, even though naturally, it only showed as the faintest expression on the witcher's stony face. "Of course," he answered.

The omega realized that he was actually really hungy, now that he was not longer nervous and tense around Geralt. He ended up eating all three slices of bread. When he was finished, he let himself fall back into the soft bed of moss and stretched. Witnessing that little stretch made Geralt extremely happy because it meant that Julian was starting to relax around him.

Julian wached the fleecy clouds pass across the sky. His breathing deepened and he slowly closed his eyes. At this moment, he felt truly at peace. He dozed off and Geralt watched over him while the omega got about half an hour of undisturbed sleep. Then he started thrashing again and Geralt was torn beween waking him up and letting him get some of that much needed rest. He waited a little longer but in only got worse.

When Geralt eventually touched his shoulder, he even had to shake him a little until Julian opened his eyes, shivering despite the warm morning sun touching his skin, and blinking in cunfusion. He had obviously no idea where he was.

"It's okay, it was just a dream, no one will hurt you anymore," Geralt tried to soothe him. "You're with me now, with Roach and...remember the little pheasant chicks?"

The memories slowly started to return to the omega and he nodded weakly. Despite the short rest, he was still really exhausted, but he was too scared of who or what might wait for him in his dreams to let himself drift off to sleep again.

"Umm, do you actually want me to wake you up when this happens or would you prefer it if I didn't, so you could at least get some more rest?" Geralt asked.

Julian vehemently shook his head, replying: "No, no, please, always wake me up...w-would you do that for me?" Geralt smiled his trademark smile again, the one that made it bearly on his lips but definitely reached his eyes. The omega found himself thinking of it as 'the witcher smile' and he realized that it was the opposite of the way Geralt had smiled at his former master when he had recognized him as a witcher. That smile had shown clearly on his lips, while his eyes had remained cold as ice.

"I'm already doing it." The witcher's answer sounded kind, almost fond.

"Thank you."

After some time, they made it back to the castle and Geralt coaxed Julian into letting him treat all of his cuts and bruises with salve. Afterwards, he took the omega to the library and handed him what had been his favorite book as a child while growing up at Kaer Morhen. It was written from the viewpoint of a wolf hybrid who gets taken in by humans and has several owners over the course of his life, some of them good and some of them less so, but the ending had always left the witcher with a feeling of hope and peace. Geralt told him to read one chapter every day.

Julian browsed through the book. Then he looked up at Geralt and remarked: "You do realize this has ten chapters and...well?" Geralt just shrugged.

In the evening, Geralt handed the omega another blank piece of paper. "Alright, let me rephrase what I said yesterday. I don't want you to write down what made you want to be alive. Just list all the things you enjoyed today, okay?"

Julian nodded and wrote down:

_I enjoyed taking care of Roach. You were right, she is a really nice horse...and she respects me. I enjoyed being on that clearing, it was wonderful there. Can't say anything about the book yet._

He hesitated, then he added: _I enjoyed that you were kind to me._

They spent the night exactly like the one before: with Julian thrashing around, being woken up from his nighmares by Geralt every few minutes, and neither of them getting much sleep.

The next morning, Geralt let the omega tend to Roach again and then lead him to the same clearing as the day before, where they had breakfast. This time, Julian made it across the river all by himself. It was silly, but he felt a little stronger because of it. He was a broken, hopeless mess, but at least he could walk across that river by himself. He shrugged.

When they had finished breakfast, Geralt asked: "Would it be okay, if I got rid of your collar now?" The omega nodded. Geralt reached for the stiletto knife that he always kept hidden in his right boot. Then he slipped two of his fingers between the collar and Julian's skin.

Julian's breath hitched as he felt the collar tighten around his neck, but he calmed himself by focusing on the fact that this would be the last time he would ever feel that pressure. Geralt made quick work of it and suddenly the omega felt the collar come off.

The witcher made a move to throw it away, but Julian stopped him. "I don't want it to remain here in this peaceful place," he explained and stuffed it into his pocket.

Later that day, Geralt grabbed two wooden swords and tried to teach the omega some sword fighting, thinking he might like the feeling of being able to defend himself.

But Julian's heart clearly wasn't in it. He didn't even try to parry Geralt's blows and when the witcher gently touched the omega's sides with the his wooden sword, he just stood there, letting his own sword dangle at his side. There was not an inch of fight in him.

It made Geralt want to shake him, scream at him to defend himself, but somehow he sensed that this wouldn't help the situation. So he just sighed and stored the swords away.

"Sorry," the omega mumbled.

"Never mind, it's not your thing," Geralt replied.

On the third night since he'd been with the witcher, Julian jumped from some especially disturbing nightmare. In fact, the more days passed, the worse they seemed to get. Geralt had tried to explain to him that it was that way because his subconscious mind was starting to properly deal with all the horrors he'd experienced, now that he wasn't in immediate danger anymore.

As always, Geralt had woken him up from his dream. He gently ran a hand up and down his back, soothing: "It's alright, you're okay."

The omega unexpectedly pushed his hand away. "I haven't slept for more than two hours in three days! I pissed myself because you reached for some paper in your pocket, my head throbs and my body hurts in places you don't even...I'm not okay and I never will be!" Before Geralt had realized what he was about to do, the omega grabbed his dinner plate from the nightstand and threw it all across the room where it hit the wall and burst into a thousand little pieces.

"You don't _know_ what happens in my mind, every time I close my eyes! ... Y-you just fall asleep with nothing ever haunting you in your dreams. - No, you have absolutely no idea what it's like, so _don't tell me it's alright!"_ he screamed. The second plate followed. He proceeded with the two mugs, then he froze. Geralt couldn't tell if it was because he realized what he had done or just because he'd run out of things to throw.

Without saying a word, the witcher walked towards the door. He turned around. "Get up."

Julian did.

"Follow me." There was that commanding tone again, the situation really reminded the omega of his first night at Kaer Morhen. Only somehow, he doubted that he would get to pat and feed Roach in the middle of the night for destroying the alpha's tablewear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did think of Joey Batey's "and when you scream I'm not alright" line when writing this scene :D


	8. Chapter 8

They made it down the stairs and Julian suppressed the urge to ask Geralt whether he would make him spend the night in the castle's dungeon for that, in order to break the silence between them.

But to his surprise, Geralt stopped at the kitchen and held out a plate to him. Julian looked back and forth between Geralt and the plate and raised his eyebrows in question.

"I thought you like throwing dishes." Geralt replied. Julian didn't react.

"Well, your loss then." Geralt shrugged and flung the plate all across the room where it shattered against the wall. The omega's eyes went wide.

Geralt held out a second plate to him and when he didn't immediately grab it, he let it make harsh contact with the wall as well.

When he was offered the third plate, Julian grabbed it. His throw was hesitant and the plate actually didn't break when it fell on the floor, it hadn't even hit the wall. That seemed to be enough to make him throw the next plate with as much force as he possibly could and the shards showered the kitchen with white dust that looked like snow. Geralt kept handing him all sorts of tablewear and soon the kitchen looked like a drunk army of temerian soldiers had passed through there.

Julian screamed as he flung the plates, screams full of pain and anger, until he finally leaned against the wall and let himself slide down to the ground. He started crying and when Geralt tried to hold him, he pummeled against his chest. Geralt just waited, not even trying to protect himself against the blows. "Why?!" the omega screamed. "Why did no one help me? What have I done to deserve this? Why did I have to turn out to be an omega? Why is my life _so_ fucked up?"

Finally, he uncleched his fists and leaned into the witcher's comforting embrace, sobbing desperately. Geralt waited until Julian had calmed down a bit, then he answered grimly: "Because life is true and utter shit sometimes."

The omega took a few deep breaths, glad that Geralt wasn't trying to sugarcoat it or worse, telling him that it would all make sense eventually and everything would be fine.

"See why I make you read that book?" the witcher asked.

"That wolf hybrid goes through so many terrible things, but he somehow always keeps surviving," Julian replied. Then he added: "Geralt, I don't know if I can be like him."

The witcher hugged him close and answered: "Just try, okay?"

They went back towards Julian's room and the omega spent the rest of the night curled up closer to Geralt than usual, letting his alpha scent wash over him. By now, it was actually calming to him. He got the first good night's sleep since the witcher had found him...well, actually, since long before that.

Geralt had left a note for Lambert in the kitchen saying: _Sorry about the mess – but I'm trying to save a life here. Gonna clean it up tomorrow._

On his forth day, after they'd had breakfast, Geralt placed some paper, two wooden branches, a cord, flour and a cup filled with a little bit of water in front of Julian. The omega had no idea what to do with it, yet he couldn't help but feel curious about it. He gave the witcher a questioning look.

"We're building a kite," he explained. "Start by mixing the flour with water, it'll serve as glue."

"But...it won't fly, there's not enough wind this time of the year." The omega was confused.

"I bet you it flies," Geralt replied. "If I win, will you grant me one more day?"

"I'm afraid not," Julian answered, "but I still take that bet, even if the only price is an 'I told you so'."

Geralt swallowed his disappointment and nodded: "The bet's on then."

So they started working and after a few minutes and a little cursing on Julian's side, they'd actually manufactured a kite.

They took it outside where not the slightest breeze was stirring. Julian looked at the witcher who had positioned himself about thirty yards away form him. "Prepare for your 'I told you so'."

Geralt smirked and replied: "Place the kite on the ground like this, hold on to the cord and run towards me as fast as you can."

"This is so stupid," the omega gave him a mock sigh but did as he was told. – Only to gasp in surprise when he realized that a rush of wind had taken hold of the kite, carrying it high towards the clear blue sky. He looked at Geralt who had raised his right hand, forming the sign of Aard (which, of course, the omega didn't recognize, to him it was just some weird hand gesture at the time).

Julian almost tripped over his own feet, staring at Geralt in disbelief. The witcher smirked.

"That's magic!" he exclaimed excitedly. Then he frowned. "Wait, that's magic, you cheated!"

Geralt just shook his head and laughed, replying: "You never said I couldn't use magic, so I won, fair and square."

"Fine," the omega mumbled, but he couldn't suppress a grin nor could he pretend that he wasn't impressed by this.

That evening, Julian wrote down: _Magic is awesome._

When the omega went outside to tend to Roach the next morning, the air smelled like rain. Still, they headed out to the clearing again – only to find themselves getting thoroughly drenched in the warm summer rain. Julian closed his eyes and tilted his head back, clearly enjoying the sensation. By now, he could practically dance over the the fallen tree that lead across the river.

They planned on spending the rest of the day inside and Geralt divided his collection of Gwent cards among them so both of them could play with a proper deck. Julian had never played Gwent before but he quickly got the hang of it. After a while, he started to ask Geralt questions about his life and the life of witchers in general. The omega seemed genuinely interested and Geralt answered all of his questions as best he could, neither sugarcoating nor complaining about any aspects of it. It was the most they had ever talked to each other.

Suddenly, Julian grew quiet and Geralt could see that he was obviously thinking about something. "What's on your mind?" he inquired.

Julian put his Gwent cards down on the table and let his gaze travel across the room. Then he met Geralt's eyes and asked: "Do you think there's more? I mean after...?"

The witcher suppressed a sigh. "I'm quite sure there's a lot more out there than we are aware of, in fact, I've sneaked a peek here and there during my time on the path. It's possible for a soul to stay attached to this world...most of the times in an unhealthy way that requires the work of a witcher. But that wasn't what you meant, was it?"

Julian slowly shook his head and Geralt continued. "...no, I think once it's over, that's it. Nothing more to come, no higher purpose. But then again...I can only make assumptions based on my own limited perception of this world." He shrugged and played his next card.

The omega bit his lower lip. Then he played the 'Clear Weather' card which made him win the round.

Lambert had headed out in order to find himself a new contract. He had kept his distance from Julian, knowing that it would already be hard enough for the omega to trust one alpha. Besides, his way of dealing with things was mostly by making fun of them – not really appropriate when dealing with a suicidal omega. He had asked Geralt whether he wanted him to stay in case things wouldn't end well, but Geralt had declined, knowing he'd prefer to be alone in this kind of situation.

When they were done playing Gwent, Geralt told Julian to invent a story, any kind of story he could think of, and that he would do the same so that they could tell their stories to each other. He explained that they had often done this as young boys when they'd been forced to stay inside the castle for some reason.

After about fifteen seconds Julian nodded. "Done."

Geralt raised his eyebrows. "No, that's not how it works, you are supposed to put at least some effort into it, this doesn't make any sense if this is just a two sentence story." The omega seemed to consider his words for a second, then he repeated: "Okay. Done."

The witcher had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Obviously, Julian wasn't planning on indulging in this game. "Okay, you start then," Geralt challenged him.

And Julian did. He talked and talked, of heroics and heartbreak, of greed, love and loss and of the discovery that things aren't always the way they seem to be. He painted landscapes and characters with his words and Geralt was absolutely captivated by the story. Julian never lost his train of thought nor did he hesitate even once. When he was finished, the witcher was silent for a moment. Then he answered: "That was a fascinating story but...you were supposed to make one up, not tell me something you've picked up somewhere."

The omega looked...hurt? Suddenly, he rose to his feet, turned around and simply walked out the door. Geralt knew instantly that he'd said something wrong. He quickly followed Julian outside to where the omega had sat down on the wet grass. It was still raining. Julian was hugging his knees, chin propped up on his forearms, and his gaze seemed to be focused on something far away from him. He looked very lost, sitting like this and getting drenched again. There was no comparing it to the way he'd enjoyed the summer rain on the clearing earlier that day.

Geralt slowly sat down beside him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It was just some stupid game. It's okay if you couldn't or didn't want to make up your own story for it."

Julian sighed, still not looking at the witcher. "I didn't cheat. I did make up this story," he mumbled quietly. At this point, the witcher realized two things. First, Julian was telling the truth. Second, the omega hadn't been upset because of their game but because he had a history of people not considering him to be capable of doing anything since he'd presented as an omega. _Shit._

" _Oh_ – you really did. Sorry, I just thought..." "Wait, you can sense when someone is lying?" the omega interrupted him.

"When I pay attention to it, yes. The heartbeat gives it away," Geralt answered.

"Huh," Julian replied. "Good, then at least you know that I'm not. Even though it doesn't make a difference..."

"Yes, it does!" Geralt objected. "It does because it means you're an awesome storyteller. Seriously, how did you come up with that...in less than half a minute??"

The omega just shrugged and cast his eyes to the ground, clearly not used to being praised. "I don't know. Besides, it's the most useless kind of talent a person can have..."

"You can make people happy and entertain them. I wouldn't call this useless at all," Geralt replied, caught up in his own thoughts.

"Whatever, now let me hear your story."

The witcher got up. "Alright, but let's get inside, you sure must be getting cold."

Julian following him inside and they sat back at the table. The witcher grimaced.

"What is it?" asked the omega.

"Well, now that I've heard your story I really don't want to tell mine."

Julian chuckled. It was hesitant and quiet but it was clearly a chuckle. "Come on, I told you mine and this is how the game works, remember?" he teased.

Geralt sighed and started telling his story. He kept losing his train of thought, constantly mixed up the details and ended with 'yeah, I guess that's it'. The omega had patiently listened to his story, not interrupting him even once. "Look, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" he commented once the witcher had finished.

"Shut up," the witcher grumbled and it took Julian a few seconds to realize that this was not meant to be one of those 'shut ups' followed by a hearty slap across the face that he'd gotten so used to back then.

In the evening, Julian read the next chapter of the book Geralt had given to him. They went to bed early that night but Julian didn't object. Already snuggled under the blanket, he wrote down:

_I like playing Gwent and I enjoy telling other people stories. It's nice to entertain others. The book is really good but heartbreaking at the same time._

On Julian's sixth day, Geralt woke him up even ealier than usual. "What is it?" the omega rubbed his eyes and jawned.

"Julian, I need an honest answer here. Do you think you're well enough for three hours of riding?"

"If I say 'no', will you just let me sleep?" the omega answered, but he was clearly curious. In fact, so much so that he didn't even wait for Geralt to react to his mocking and instead he continued: "I'm not hurting anymore at all since day four, so it should be fine."

"Great, then get up and get ready, we'll meet at the stables." Geralt seemed as enthusiastic as a witcher could be.

Geralt carefully watched Julian for any signs of pain, but there were none. His mare seemed to make an effort of walking extra carefully. She really was the best and nicest Roach the witcher had ever owned.

"Where are we going?" the omega asked, once they had set off. Geralt had planned to keep it a secret until they got there, but he sensed that Julian would just keep asking every few minutes until Geralt would crumble, so he could as well tell him right away.

"We're going to visit a traveling fair, it's always at this spot at this time of the year."

"Oh, umm...I've never been to one, guess I should be excited." Julian felt a bit worried about visiting a place where he would be surrounded by so many strangers, but he reminded himself that this was part of a normal life. Besides, he was accompanied by what would probably turn out to be the most intimidating person at that whole fair. So he relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than usual because I originally skipped day number 5, so I hope you liked my ideas of filling it with Gwent and storytelling. It was some last minute addition :D  
> Btw. if you're wondering why I had Geralt use his right hand when casting Aard (instead of his left like he does in the games)...turns out he uses his right hand when he doesn't hold a sword in it, it's shown in the short story 'Something More' and I almost missed it.  
> And don't worry: There's still more than enough tablewear left in Kaer Morhen :D


	9. Chapter 9

After about three hours – and many, many questions of 'are we there yet' – they finally arrived at the fair. There were colorful tents, fire-eaters, circus artists, fortune tellers, food stands, and merchants selling all kinds of goods.

Geralt pressed a coin pouch into Julian's hand and gave him a nudge. "Off you go, your task for the day is to spend all of these coin at the fair on something that you like, anything at all."

The omega's eyes grew wide. "Geralt, this is really stupid...and such a waste of coin, considering..." He trailed off but they both knew what it was he didn't put into words.

Geralt bit his tongue in order to keep himself from replying something like 'it's only a waste of coin if I can't make you change your mind in time'. Instead, he gave him another nudge. "Don't be afraid, I keep my eye on you and make sure no one will bother you. I'll join you soon but first, I need to talk to a friend of mine."

Julian hesitantly walked away to have a look around.

Geralt walked across the fair until he'd found the one tent he was looking for while keeping his ears trained on Julian's footsteps. Quiet lute music was coming from inside. Geralt entered the tent and a petite, beautiful omega woman with buttercups in her hair looked up at him. She had brown hair with a shade of red and big brown eyes. "Geralt!" she exclaimed, obviously happy to see him.

"Tecza!" he greeted her. "I'm so glad you're still with the minstrels."

"Where else would I be?" she replied, put down her instrument and pulled him into a tight hug.

A few summers ago, they had met somewhere on the path and she had requested his witcher services for finding her boy that had gone missing in the woods. The woods had a reputation for all sorts of monsters roaming them and none of her fellows at the fair had been brave enough to look for him. Well, except for her alpha who worked as the fair's strongman. But she'd been begging him not to go, fearing she might lose him too. So instead, she'd hired Geralt.

Geralt had found the boy in a cave that he hadn't been able to get out of on his own. But it had been no monster den and the child was completely unharmed, safe for the little scare it had given him.

When Tecza had pulled out the coin meant to be his payment and put them down on the table, Geralt had only taken a quarter of it. He would have waived it off altogether, but this had been witcher work of some kind, as the woods were indeed roamed by monsters, even though her boy had gotten lucky. Geralt had risked his life nonetheless and, more important, he couldn't let the word spread that he was doing work for free. It would neither serve him nor his fellow witchers.

Tecza had been overwhelmed with relief and grattitude. When her alpha hadn't been able to resist and challenged Geralt to a private match of arm wrestling inside of their tent, Geralt had lost to him on purpose and from that moment on, Tecza and him had been friends.

Tecza looked Geralt up and down and said: "I'm not an expert at reading the facial expressions of a witcher, but you look like you've got something on your mind."

"You are not wrong," Geralt answered. Then he gave her the short version of Julian's story. When he was finished, he put out some coin on the table in front of her and continued: "I want to buy your services for this poor young man who has seen way too little good things in his life."

Tecza quickly blinked away the tears that had sprung to her eyes when she'd heard about Julian's story. Then she wriggled her eyebrows and replied: "I see, you're still not good with your words, witcher, but then again, you are no bard."

Just then, Geralt realized how suggestive that had sounded and he had to chuckle. He didn't care to rephrase his request though because Tecza had still understood the actual meaning of his words anyway.

"Of course, I'll see what I can do. When?"

"This evening," Geralt replied. He had to smile when he saw that Tecza only took a quarter of his coin and passed the rest back to him.

He nodded and left to join Julian.

They spent the whole day at the fair but Julian didn't buy a single thing save for one candied apple. It was hard to want for material things when you planned to end your life in one day. "Seriously Geralt, I will not waste your coin like that when the things I'd buy won't even bring me joy," he explained.

Geralt sighed. "It's alright, we'll sleep here and maybe you'll find something you like tomorrow."

Julian's expression grew really sad all at once. "So...we'll spent tomorrow at the fair, ride home and then...?" He ran a finger across his throat in a distinct gesture.

Geralt's own throat tightened and he swallowed hard. "No." He firmly shook his head. "Not tomorrow, you owe me one more day."

"Geralt, I can still count," Julian whispered. "Tomorrow is the seventh day."

"Yes, but when I found you, it was almost evening. You can barely count that as a full day. And we settled on seven days. So you owe me one more day."

Julian shrugged. "Alright, fine."

In the evening, he brought the omega to Tecza's tent where she awaited the two of them. Julian gave Geralt a questioning look and whispered: "Geralt, I really hope this is not gonna be what I think it is."

"Depends on what it is you think," the witcher replied smugly. "If you think it's some beautiful omega bard who's just gonna play you some music while the two of you sit at the fire...then yes, it's exactly that."

Julian took a deep breath, blushed and smiled. "Yeah, let's just pretent that was what I thought, and let's pretend my answer was 'oh yes, that's a beautiful idea'."

Geralt introduced them and said: "Alright, I'll leave you two to it. I'll be close by if you need me, Julian. Just call me when you want to go to sleep okay?"

"Okay."

And so they sat down by the fire and Tecza played. The fair had grown quiet, so had the birds and the insects. There were only a few bats flying around, trying to catch some moths. The stars were shining really bright that night.

Tecza started singing, hear rich, sweet voice echoing through the night. And even though they'd barely exchanged a word, Julian sensed that there was some kind of connection between the two of them. Her music seemed to understand him in a way that spoken words never could. After a few minutes, he found himself humming along, and soon he even sung along a few words here and there.

"You've got a good singing voice," Tecza smiled, while still playing the lute. They sang some more songs until the omega inquired: "You've got an unusal name, I've never heard it before. How did your parents come up with it?"

Tecza smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Actually, that's not the name my parents gave me. That's just my bard name."

"Your bard name?"

"Yes, most bards have some sort of stage name they made up for themselves. It's kind of a fun tradition."

"Oh...what does it mean?"

"It means rainbow." She shrugged and smiled. "Thought I'd just want to bring more beauty into this world so..."

"I like it," Julian stated.

After a short silence, Tecza asked: "What would your bard name be?"

"Umm, I don't know... ," the omega replied.

"Indulge me, think of something," Tecza encouraged him.

Julian let his eyes wander towards the sky. Then he had to think of the tale that every person who died would turn into a bright star in the sky. He quickly looked down again and his gaze settled on the buttercups in Tecza's hair.

"Jaskier... ," he whispered. "...because of what you said about wanting to bring more beauty into this world – and because it also starts with a 'J'." He smiled.

Tecza smiled as well and they resumed singing.

There were so little words spoken between them and yet so much understanding.

"Will you be here tomorrow evening?" Tecza asked. It was long after midnight.

"Yes," Julian replied.

Then he called for Geralt. The witcher had spread some blankets across the ground and they slept next to the tents under the stars. Julian curled up in Geralt's arms – it was the first time they ever slept like this. Usually, there would always be a little bit of space left between them, however, not tonight. He drifted off to sleep very quickly and only had a few nightmares. It took the witcher a whole lot longer to fall asleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Tęcza' really does mean rainbow in Polish :)


	10. Chapter 10

When they were woken up by the sun the next morning, Julian sighed. "You know, I love sleeping under the stars. Maybe because I never did when I belonged to...whatever, I like it," he remarked thoughtfully.

They spent the day wandering around the fair again, watching the shows of all the different sorts of artists. The witcher noticed that Julian couldn't stop humming the songs he'd heard the night before.

"I promised Tecza to visit her again this evening...may I? Can we stay this long?" Julian sounded almost shy.

"Of course," Geralt promptly replied. This was the very first time the omega had ever explicitely asked him for anything (except for waking him from his nightmares), instead of just being indifferent because nothing mattered to him anyway. It gave Geralt hope.

In the evening, he brought the omega to Tecza's tent again and left.

"Hello Jaskier," she greeted him.

"Julian," he automatically corrected, taking no offense at all that she obviously didn't recall his name. Then the realization hit him. " _Oh!_ "

Tecza smiled. "You really believed I couldn't remember your name, didn't you?"

Julian laughed awkwardly and looked down, trying to hide how flattered he was. "But...I'm no bard," he whispered softly.

"Tonight you are." Tecza smiled. "We're going to sing together through half the night, isn't that what bards do?"

Julian's heart was pounding loudly in his chest and for the very first time in a really long while, it wasn't because of fear. After the first song, Julian pulled out the coin pouch that Geralt had given to him. "Look," he explained, "Geralt gave this to me and told me to spend all of it at this fair. He made it very clear that he absolutely wouldn't take it back. But...I've found nothing that I wanted to buy. And I don't know if Geralt has told you about this, but I won't be needing this anymore by the end of tomorrow. Well, actually, I already don't need it anymore right now."

Geralt had, of course, told Tecza. The female omega had to hold back her tears as she listened to Julian's words.

"So, I really think it might serve you better than me." With that, he placed it next to her.

"I cannot take this." Tecza shook her head.

"Then give it back to Geralt, but I doubt he'll accept it." Julian shrugged.

"Wait, I have an idea!" Tecza exclaimed. "Wait here, don't go anywhere, alight?" She quickly walked inside her tent. When she came out again, she carried a second lute with her. She handed it to the other omega and said: "This is yours now."

Julian's eyes grew wide. "I cannot take this!" He realized that he was repeating her words. "You need this, it's your livelihood.... ," he rambled on.

"I don't and this isn't." Tecza interrupted him. "This is," she pointed towards her own lute. "And even if this one breaks, I still got another spare one. This one," she pointed at the lute that Julian was holding, "this originally belonged to someone else, another minstrel. Let's just say he left us and gave up his job..." Her expression grew really sad for a moment and Julian sensed that she wasn't telling him the whole truth about that other minstrel.

"Anyways, this lute holds a lot of unpleasant memories for me, but I never had it in me to just throw it away. So, I really think this might serve you better than me."

A smile sneaked its way onto Julian's lips as he realized that now it was _her_ who was repeating _his_ words.

He carefully took the lute – his lute – into his hands and ran a finger over the wood. It smelled nice and it looked really pretty. Julian gave the strings the gentlest of pluckings, coaxing a quiet, beautiful sound from the instrument. "But, I don't even know how to play it," he said.

"Oh, we can change that, my dear!" Tecza exclaimed. "Look, you hold it like this. You're right-handed, right? Good. Then you put your left hand up here and with the fingers of this hand you hold down the strings you're wanting to mute. You can chose to mute the strings either up here or all the way to down there and anywhere in between. You can still pluck at muted strings and it will make a different sound, compared to an unmuted string, and it also depends on where you place your finger on the string in order to mute it."

Julian was paying close attention as she explained.

"Now, on to your right hand. You place it down here. With this hand, you can either pluck at single strings with a single finger or run your finger over several strings at once. Mostly, if you run your finger over several strings, you do it with your thumb, while the other four fingers are for plucking. However, your thumb can and should also be used for plucking when, at the time, it's not used for running over several strings. And that's actually the whole trick. Of course, the secret lies in getting fluent in all the movements of your hands, but basically, that's it. Just try out different sounds and weave them together into a song. That way, you can create something that has not been there before, something that's entirely your own."

The rest of the night, Tecza taught Julian how to play the lute and Julian was hellbent on learning as much as he could with what little time he had.

He only slept a few hours that night and as soon as he was awake, he was back at Tecza's tent again, practicing every single minute with Tecza instructing him whenever she wasn't playing for her patrons.

In the next morning the fair would travel to another town. So, that evening when Geralt came to collect him, he looked deep into the omega's eyes and asked: "Do you want to join them? To travel along with them?"

When Julian didn't answer right away, he added: "It would be fine by me, I only want you to be happy and to do what's right for you." The witcher's voice revealed no emotion, but by his eighth day of knowing him, Julian was getting better at reading that stony face. He could see pain and hope there, and he knew that both of it was there for more than one reason.

"No," he replied. "I only know Tecza and...no." The witcher sighed and, again, it was more than one emotion that caused that sigh.

When he waved Tecza goodbye, she called: "Goodbye Jaskier. See you around here the same time next year if you can make it. And then I want to hear all of your songs that make the world a more beautiful place. And Jaskier?" Her voice became a little bit softer. "I'm really glad I got to know you."

"Goodbye Tecza... ," Julian whispered equally softly, knowing that the female bard knew exactly how to use her words. _If he could make it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lute lessons written by someone who can't even play a single instrument, yaay! xD  
> Don't be confused, this is, in fact, Jaskier's eighth day of knowing Geralt (I just corrected this mistake because I said it was his seventh). In the previous chapter Geralt asked for another day because the day he met Jaskier was not a full day but only a few hours. Jaskier agreed. So the time will be up once the current day comes to an end.  
> Chapter 11 will be the end of this story, so be prepared... :D (The rest will be bonus chapters)  
> This chapter is a little bit shorter. I had to split it up this way because otherwise it would have ruined the atmosphere of chapter 11...sorry!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel like I've got some explaining to do so that this chapter will make sense to you: Julian/Jaskier can tell Geralt that he wants to keep on living at all times, he doesn't have to wait until the time is up. So the fact that he keeps quiet means...well, I guess you know. And Geralt knows that as well, so he doesn't actually have to ask him. As long as Jaskier keeps silent, that's practically a 'no' to staying alive.

During the three hours ride back to Kaer Morhen both of them barely spoke a word and the silence was only interrupted by the gentle sounds the omega coaxed from his lute.

When they reached the castle, Geralt tended to Roach while Julian already went up to his room. The witcher could feel himself purposefully moving slower, desperately buying time. He absolutely didn't want to go up there to meet that sweet, innocent and surprisingly witty omega with whom he'd spent the last eight days and shared a bed with for the last seven nights, in order to...

He buried his head in his hands and whispered: "My dear sweet Roach, what shall I do?"

Roach huffed sadly. He patted her for one last time, then he went up to meet Julian.

The omega lay on the bed, still plucking at his lute. They shared a long look in silence. Geralt had decided against handing Julian an empty piece of paper this evening, there was just no point in it anymore.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?" Geralt asked softly, hoping against hope that Julian would just ignore that the time he'd given the witcher was up.

Julian didn't reply and the silence stretched.

Then a thought came to the witcher's mind. It sounded pathetic, even in his own head before he had said it out loud, but it was better than nothing. "Remember the morning on your second day, when I caught you holding that knife in your hand? You owe me another day for that. I know it's not entirely fair because I believed you when you told me you wouldn't have followed through with it, but...what's a few more hours? At least until you can play a short melody on that lute you got, what do you say?"

There was still no answer. So Geralt simply put out the candles, crawled into bed next to the omega and put his arms around him the way he had the nights before.

Another minute passed until Julian whispered: "Okay. Just a few more hours."

A few silent tears ran down the omega's cheeks while he thought of the expression of deep pain on Tecza's face when she had told him about the previous owner of his lute who had 'left them and given up his job'. Yeah, that was one way to put it.

The next day was like the previous ones (before they'd attended the fair). Julian tended to Roach, they went to the clearing to have breakfast – the pheasant chicks had already grown a great deal by now – and yet, it was so very different. Geralt was quiet for most of the time and the omega could see that he was suffering.

Once the two of them had finished breakfast, Geralt left Julian alone to practice his lute and retreated to the stables, his steps slow and heavy. He entered Roach's enclosure and slid down the wall. Then he cried like he'd never cried before. His faithful mare tried to comfort him but she didn't succeed.

After an hour, he got up and went to his room. He used an enchanted crystal he'd stored away in his nightstand to talk to Yennefer. He had gotten it from her for exactly that purpose.

He talked for a long while and the sorceress listened. And then she talked for a while and the witcher listened. In the end, a portal opened up in his room and out of it fell two flowerpots, holding two identical flowers. Two white lilies.

He placed the flowerpots in an empty room in the highest tower of the castle and opened a window. Afterwards, he went to fetch the knife that he always used for cutting up his healing herbs. It was sharp, like all of his knives. But not razor sharp like the one he caried around in his boot. He tugged it away in his pocket.

Then he cleared himself of all emotions and went to Julian's room. The omega was still busy with his lute. Geralt sat down and listened. Julian actually managed to coax a short melody out of his instrument. One he was indeed able to repeat, not something that was caused by some random plucks.

"That's impressive." Geralt said. After a short pause, he added: "Shall we now?"

Julian's eyes shot up, there was no mistaking what the witcher meant. He was confused. _Why wasn't Geralt trying to keep stalling? Why was he actually suggesting it? Why just now?_

The omega put down his lute and rose from the bed. Almost as if in trance, he followed Geralt up the many stairs of the tower. His mouth was dry and his heart hammered loudly against his chest. Julian was full of contradicting emotions: fear, relief, sadness, grief, hope, peace, reluctance... He hadn't known that it was possible for someone to feel all of that at once.

The omega felt the urge to thank Geralt for these wonderful last days. However, he couldn't form a single word.

When they made it to the room, he saw the two white lilies. He was confused, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted by Geralt holding a knife out to him.

"No!" he replied incredulously. "That's not what I bargained for. You said it would be completely painless and quick and..."

"Relax," Geralt replied. "It will be all of these things...for you."

"I don't understand."

"You know, a friend of mine is a powerful sorceress. I asked her to put a spell on me that linked my life to yours, just for today. As soon as my life is ended by you, you'll drop dead, too. Quickly and painless, just like you wished for."

"No!," Julian exclaimed. "No, I don't believe you, you're tricking me!"

Geralt smiled a sad smile. "That's why I brought the two flowers. She cast the same spell on them. Just kill the right one and see what happens to the other."

Hesitantly, the omega put the knife to the right flower. He cut off a leave. Nothing happened. He proceeded with the stem, cutting to the middle, watching the left flower closely. Still, nothing happened.

He cut through the whole stem and just like that, the left flower was withered, obviously dead. The omega swallowed hard and turned to face Geralt.

Before Julian could react, Geralt's hand darted forward and grabbed the omega's right hand, the one holding the knife. He held it in such a way that Julian couldn't drop it and placed it against his own neck, an inch away from his carotid – even though he felt desperate and sad, he was definitely planning on surviving this.

He looked into Julian's eyes and whispered: "The knife is placed on my carotid artery, it'll all be over for you really soon. – All you have to to is push down. Juuust a little." When he dragged out the word 'just', he pressed Julian's hand down with his own until the knife broke his skin. He deliberately made no attempt to suppress a wince as a few drops of blood ran down his neck.

" _Noooooo!"_ Julian screamed at the top of his lungs, panicking and desperately trying to pull away. "No, no no, oh Gods, please Geralt, I'm begging you, just stop! You cannot ask this of me, it's not fair, you can't make me kill you!" He started sobbing and finally managed to free his hand with the knife in it (of course only because the witcher had losened his grip a little).

Once it was free, he turned around and threw the knife out the window with as much force as he could possibly muster.

"Why did you do that?" Geralt asked.

The omega was sobbing uncontrollably and his body was violently shaking. "Because I cannot kill you, you're gentle and patient, * _sob*_ and so very kind _*sob*_ ...and you've made my life so much better and..." At this point Geralt had to hold Julian upright so that he didn't just collapse on the floor "...and the world is a much better place with you in it."

Geralt leaned forward and whispered directly into Julian's ear: "You do realize that I could say all of these things to you as well, right?" He waited until his words had sunken in. Then he continued: "So, I'm begging you, could you please not make me do this and, instead, keep on living...for me? I know it's hard sometimes, and really, _really_ shitty and I can't promise you that you won't ever feel shitty again, in fact I'm pretty sure you will as soon as you're getting the next nightmare." The witcher's eyes were filled with tears at this point. "But...could you please be like the wolf in that book? Who makes it through the pit-fights despite - "

"Great, now you've spoiled the book, I'm not at that chapter yet!" The omega sniffled, wiping his hand over his tearstained face. "Besides, it's a wolf hybrid." Julian had stopped crying and even attempted a little laugh. It came out really shaky.

Geralt hugged him very close. "Could you please be like that wolf hybrid?" he corrected himself, mumbling against the omega's shoulder.

Julian swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Then he replied: "I think I could do that...for you. You know, I've seen the expression on Tecza's face. I really don't want to be like the person who's previously owned my lute...because I don't wanna see Tecza's expression on your face."

After a short pause, a faint smile appeared on his lips and he added: "Besides, I wanna find out how this book ends, even though you tried to spoil it...and I wanna see the pheasant chicks grow up, you know, I already named them and...I wanna learn how to play the lute and create my own songs, damn, I really want to become a bard named Jaskier and follow you on the path while we sleep under the stars..." Just at that moment he realized that he was actually still wishing to do so many things. When had that happened? Well, obviously it had, somewhere along the way.

Geralt's hug became even tighter as the wave of relief washed over him. "Thank you," he whispered softly.

～ _dedicated to everyone who struggled with suicidal thoughts at some point in their life_ ～

❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I now recommend to go on youtube and listen to these two songs while thinking about this fic: 'Wonderful Life' by Hurts and 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray. They were both a great source of inspiration to me when I wrote this story.  
> The book Geralt made Jaskier read was 'White Fang' by Jack London (and it actually has a lot more than just ten chapters, I just originally planned on "buying" Julian/Jaskier one more day by having him read the last chapter – but eventually, the story took another turn. Btw. if you want to know how this book ends, read the last paragraph on Wikipedia - because I don't want to be like Geralt and spoil it here (I might in the comments though if someone asks me to). ;)).  
> I chose the two flowers to be white lilies because they symbolize purity and rebirth, yet are also commonly featured at funerals. Oh, and in case you're wondering: There never was a magic spell on Geralt, only on the flowers. :)  
> Thank you all so much for your love and support! <3 But don't leave just yet, there's still two bonus chapters left, coming up soon. :)  
> I like to imagine that after this day there will be a few times where Geralt would find Jaskier fast asleep with the lute cradled in his arms. Geralt would gently try to take the lute out of his hands but if Jaskier woke up, he'd be like: "Noo, I'm still playing, give it back". That image is so cute, I simply had to share it with you. <3


	12. Bonus chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is gonna be smutty, so don't like don't read ;)

Six months had passed and Jaskier had become better and better at finding joy in life, happily accompanying the witcher on his path by now. Geralt had stopped being vigilant around the omega whenever he had access to sharp objects and Jaskier never betrayed his trust ever again.

Jaskier's wounds had started to heal, both physically and mentally, and, four months after Geralt had saved him, his omega scent had slowly started to return. They had already been on their way to return to Kaer Morhen in order to settle in for the winter when Geralt had noticed it. At first he'd thought he'd imagined it because it was really faint and he hadn't even attributed it to Jaskier. Once he'd realized what it meant though, he'd been overjoyed. He had hugged the omega close, whispering: "Come here, strong one."

Looking at Jaskier now, six months from when their paths had crossed for the first time, Geralt almost didn't recognize him. The omega, once emaciated and cynical, had turned into a beautiful young man who radiated with joyous energy that was simply contagious.

Geralt still slept next to him every night and it was only on rare occasions that he had to wake him from a nightmare. But when it happened, it was bad. However, Jaskier usually seemed to get over it pretty quickly once he'd realized that it had been just a dream, unable to hurt him.

The witcher realized that the way he looked at Jaskier had slowly started to change. He couldn't remember when it first had happened, but there was no denying he was sometimes finding himself thinking about a certain set of deep blue eyes and a sweet, enticing scent lingering on warm, soft skin in that rare moments of privacy when he allowed his mind to wander on paths unrestrained and free of judgement.

Sometimes Jaskier would notice Geralt's glances and then he'd blush and cast his eyes down, not daring to hold his gaze because he wasn't brave enough to learn what he would find there.

One night, when it was time to go to bed, Jaskier sat down on the edge of the bed and stared out the window. Geralt sat back up, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "What's troubling you?" he asked.

"Well," Jaskier hesitated, but then he continued speaking. "There's something I want to try, but...I'm afraid it's something that's not meant for trying."

The witcher frowned. "That sounds complicated."

Jaskier nodded. "It is. It's like I'm standing at a fork in the road. One path is safe and nice and nothing ever happens there."

"And the other path?"

Jaskier sighed. "The other path is full of dangers and I might get hurt badly, but it's calling out to me and tempts me with adventures and delights I've never known before..."

Geralt moved so that he could sit next to Jaskier. He met his eyes and answered: "You know, I would hate the idea of choosing the first path and never finding out what the other one might have held for me, always wondering but never knowing for sure."

This time, Jaskier held the witcher's gaze. He swallowed and his heart was beginning to beat way to loudly in his chest. Knowing that Geralt's witcher hearing inevitably picked up on it wasn't helping at all. He took a deep breath, then the moved his face closer to Geralt's. He closed his eyes, not because of some romantic idea but because he was afraid. Then he brought his face even closer and let his lips meet Geralt's. He was simply pressing them against his in something that probably didn't even count as a real kiss, ready to pull back at any moment.

He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he had never been so excited in his life.

Then he could feel Geralt's lips move gently against his. They were warm and soft and the witcher's kiss was full of reassurance, even though the rest of his body remained completely still. He treated Jaskier like he was some small bird that would fly out of his reach at any unexpected touch or movement. Jaskier started moving his lips as well and time froze while only their lips were touching, none of them deepening the kiss, both overwhelmed with what they were already given.

Jaskier moaned and then he shakily laughed into the kiss because he was embarrassed about it. Geralt's breath hitched and his lips curved into a smile while he was still kissing Jaskier softly, slowly and yet full of passion. Another moan escaped Jaskier despite him trying to stifle it. Listening to those tiny, lustful moans and seeing Jaskier so embarassed about them made the blood rush towards Geralt's groin.

"Let me hear that," he whispered and his voice was very nearly a groan as well, which made both of them laugh softly into the kiss again.

Shivers of pleasure were running down Jaskier's spine and even though he was still ashamed, he just couldn't hold back the stream of moans that fell from his lips, especially not when Geralt started kissing down his neck and the omega practically ripped his own shirt off in order to let Geralt kiss even more of his naked skin. For a second there, Jaskier felt self-conscious about all of the scars covering his torso, but then he reminded himself that the witcher was no stranger to scars himself. Besides, it was not like he was seeing them for the first time.

Geralt had no idea how far he could take this without scaring Jaskier or stirring up some unpleasant memories in him. But he could clearly sense that right now, the omega was feeling nothing but pleasure, and so he continued covering him with gentle kisses, never letting them grow deeper or more hungry. _Gods, he was so aroused._ But he didn't have any desire to be touched or touch himself down there because it would just have meant a distraction from that absolutely blissful sensation of his lips against that warm, inviting skin and listening to Jaskier's half-stifled moans. Each moan sent a new, hot wave of pleasure down between the witcher's legs.

He slowly let his mouth wander towards one of Jaskier's soft, rosy nipples and caressed it carefully with his tongue. Jaskier's head fell back, his breath hitched and he whimpered desperately.

Geralt glanced down to where Jaskier's swollen cock was peeking out of his pants, leaving a wet spot of precum on his stomach. He smiled and let himself slide down from the bed so that he was kneeling in front of Jaskier while the omega was still sitting on the edge of the bed. He had no specific plan of what it was that he wanted to do, he would just let his instincts guide him and do what felt right to both of them. All of his movements were still very slow so that the omega wouldn't be startled by them.

Geralt was pretty sure that none of the other alphas had ever taken this position when they'd been having their cruel fun with Jaskier. Still, he waited until Jaskier met his gaze, asking for his consent. Jaskier was surprised at first, it was wrong, this strong, impressive alpha kneeling in front of him like this. But his mind was hazy with lust and he simply nodded, once he'd realized Geralt was actually waiting for his consent to move on.

Geralt brought his head closer to Jaskier's stomach and licked up the drops of precum that had leaked from the tip of his cock. Jaskier moaned loudly and his breath was coming really fast.

The witcher gently ran one finger over Jaskier's inner thigh, his touch light as a feather, and despite his pants still covering his legs, the omega immediately froze. Geralt instantly noticed it, so he pulled his hand away and then stopped moving altogether.

Jaskier took a deep breath. He didn't want this to end like that – hell, he didn't want this to end at all – and he knew that the only way he could keep things going was by helping Geralt cross none of his boundaries. It went against all of his instincts to give an alpha directives, especially in a situation like that, but it was the only way to make this work for him. Still, he had trouble finding the right words. After a moment of deliberation, he unbuttoned his pants without pulling them down, allowing his cock to spring free. "Naked skin's fine, everything covered by my pants is not," he whispered softly.

"Are you sure?" Geralt whispered back, as if even raising his voice might scare the omega off.

Jaskier nodded and cast his eyes down, a blush creeping up his cheeks at admitting so bluntly to his own need.

Seeing that little blush made Geralt grow even harder and he met Jaskier's lips again, reassuring him everything was okay, that he was allowed to simply enjoy the pleasure he was feeling, to give himself over to it. Then the witcher kissed a trail down from his lips, over his neck and his chest until he started licking at the wet spot on Jaskier's stomach again.

A new spurt of precum escaped Jaskier, landing directly on the witcher's lips. "Oh shit, sorry!" Jaskier panted out between two moans, but the witcher just hummed in appreciation, licking his lips. Jaskier watched him and couldn't keep himself from bucking his hips. Geralt saw the omega's hand reach out a few times to touch the witcher's head, but it seemed like he was too shy to follow through with it. Eventually, Geralt gently caught his hand and placed it on the back of his own head, then he continued licking the area around the tip of Jaskier's cock, never actually touching it.

Jaskier whined and whimpered, large, clear drops of precum rolling from the tip of his cock.

Geralt could feel how Jaskier ached to push Geralt's head down a little further to where he needed his mouth so very badly but desperately tried to keep himself from doing it.

Witnessing Jaskier struggle like this almost pushed the witcher over the edge. "Do it," Geralt grunted, his hands both fisted into the rug he was kneeling on in order to keep himself from making any insconsiderate touches, both to Jaskier and to himself. His need was burning so very hot, he knew for a fact that he was not going to get up from this rug with an unsoiled shirt.

He allowed himself another taste of the omega's precum and it sent a wave of liquid fire straight to his cock. " _Fuck_ , do it already!" _He_ was begging _Jaskier_ right now.

Seeing that the witcher was right at the edge of making a mess of himself just because he was kneeling in front of him and licking up the wet drops _he_ was leaking made Jaskier forget all doubts and common sense. He pushed Geralt's head down on his cock and instantly felt that velvety warmth all around him. He stopped thinking altogether and all he could to was thrust his hips up into that heavenly touch that was Geralt's mouth.

His pleasure coiled hotter with each thrust and he tried speaking, attempting for something like 'oh Gods, careful, I'm gonna come', but all that came out were some loud, incoherent whimpers and something that might or might not have been Geralt's name.

The sane part of his brain was mortified at the idea of spilling into Geralt's mouth, especially because he could already feel how much it would be, but his hips just thrust faster and faster and when his climax hit, he screamed with pleasure as his cock pumped long hot spurts of cum into the witcher's mouth. His mortification made him come even harder, every thought of 'shit, you're still in his mouth, don't let it spill' was followed by an especially hard pump of his cock. _And damn, did that feel good._

Geralt's fists clenched in a way that was almost painful, his whole body tensed and his toes curled, all while still kneeling on the floor and without having touched his own cock even once. He lost it the second he felt Jaskier's cum touch his tongue and he couldn't keep himself from making what Jaskier would later describe as 'a lot of happy little witcher noises'.

When Geralt was done, not only was his shirt wet with cum, but he'd also managed to spill a good amount on his pants and the rug. He looked down at his own mess, then he glanced up at Jaskier, giving him a tiny, innocent smile. Curiously, the effect wasn't even disturbed by the witcher's cat-like eyes and Jaskier instantly started to imagine Geralt as a small boy on his way to becoming a witcher.

Jaskier blushed when he realized that the witcher had obviously swallowed all of his, Jaskier's, release. He quickly moved to the middle of the bed and hugged his knees close to him, looking down in shame, but he couldn't stop smiling.

In an instant, Geralt was at his side. "Was that...okay for you?" he asked gently.

Jaskier shot him an incredulous look and answered: "Geralt, that was definitely more than just 'okay', that was amazing..." He took a look at Geralt's soiled clothes, "but oh my God, you're ruining the bed, off with you, shush!" He shooed him away, eliciting a hearty laugh from Geralt.

Over the course of the next few days they discovered that Jaskier's ability to enjoy physical pleasure was quite fluctuating and outright random. At first, Geralt thought he'd done something wrong during their first time when on the next day, Jaskier reacted completely differently to some of the things he'd been totally fine with the day before.

But Jaskier assured him that it had absolutely nothing to do with him and that he didn't quite understand it himself. It seemed to depend on the sorts of memories that his brain chose to pick at the specific time, resulting in him liking something and then, a day later, disliking that exact same thing for no apparent reason.

But Geralt was very patient with him, always letting Jaskier make the first move and immediately stopping when he sensed that the omega was in any kind of discomfort. He also made sure that it was very clear to Jaskier whether they were currently in a sexual kind of situation or not, never letting a harmless morning cuddle be disturbed by any suggestive touches on his part.

Jaskier had been fine with all sorts of non-sexual touches almost right from the start and Geralt preferred to keep it that way by not blurring the intentions of their shared touches.

Jaskier was never able to let Geralt take him the way an alpha would take his omega though, but Geralt was actually glad that Jaskier didn't make him try. Honestly, even if Jaskier could've tolerated it, he wasn't sure if _he'd_ been able to, remembering what all of those other alphas had done to him, how he'd been _bleeding_ from it when he'd found him.

Geralt didn't miss a single thing when he was with Jaskier in that way. He relished all the little, happy sounds he could coax out of the bard, the way he smelled when he was enjoying whatever Geralt did to him, and how he was so very responsive to all of his touches. The witcher truly didn't feel like he was missing out on anything with a person – not an omega, but a person – like Jaskier at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I'll upload a super short snippet in which they have the heat talk / how they plan on handling Jaskier's heats :)


	13. Bonus chapter 2 (super short)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here's another tiny little snippet because I just HAD to address that heat topic.

"Geralt, you...you really want to take a pass on an omega in heat, my heat?" Jaskier's eyes grew big.

"Exactly, it's your heat. And if you want to wait it out while I keep you under the influence of Axii, that's your decision and no one else's," Geralt replied calmly.

"But...that alpha" - Jaskier didn't have to point out _which_ alpha he was talking about for Geralt to understand - "according to him my heats were the best thing about me in the eyes of any alpha..."

"...said the man without any good things about him at all," Geralt interrupted him.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't give a rat's arse about this man and his views," Jaskier started again. "I'm just thinking...you did all of these things for me, you took me in, gave me food, clothes, a place where I belong – hell, you saved my life in more than one way, be both know that. Denying you my heat feels...wrong. Especially when I can't even be with you in the way a normal omega would be with his alpha."

"Jaskier, you know what feels wrong? You talking like you want to pay me with heat sex for saving you. If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna barf and I really like that rug."

"Umm, okay, if you put it like that..." Jaskier took a relieved breath. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel like I would deny you something that you're more than entitled to."

"Jaskier..." The witcher sighed. "I have absolutely no idea who came up with the idea that an omega's heat is something you can even be entitled to. But I have a certain feeling that it was some frustrated alpha who got turned down by an omega one too many times."

Jaskier managed a little smile.

"And if I should ever tell you that your heats are even so much as the fifth best thing about, you're allowed to slap me square across the face."

The omega raised his eyebrows. "So, what are the five best things about me?" he asked with a grin.

Geralt just rolled his eyes.

Jaskier got lost in his own thoughts for a moment, then he said: "Keeping me under the influence of Axii during my heats will be incredibly annoying for you. I mean, you're gonna have to make me do every little thing from eating to going to bed – hell, you'll basically have to make me live my life during that week."

A faint smile appeared on Geralt's lips. "You know, this isn't my first week of making sure you do exactly that," he answered.

Jaskier's lips twisted into a smile as well. "Right."


	14. Bonus chapter 3

As fate willed, one of Geralt's contracts had them pass through a village that suddenly caused Jaskier to call out: "Geralt, wait!" Geralt instantly told Roach to stop, then he turned around to the omega sitting behind him. "What is it?" he asked.

Jaskier looked around, almost twisting his neck while doing so. "I know this village – Geralt, I _know_ this village, I grew up here! My parents are probably still living around here."

He sounded excited, which surprised the witcher. "Umm, don't take this the wrong way, but...aren't you mad at them? After all, they sold you to a slave trader...?" Geralt was confused.

Jaskier paused. Then he explained: "Geralt, I know what you must think, but I firmly believe they considered this to be their only choice. You know, when a male omega gets sold to a slave trader, he doesn't necessarily end up like I did. Usually, the omega is bought by a single alpha who keeps the omega – his heats – all to himself. And while he might fuck the omega through all of them, they might actually form quite the fond bond over time. Surely, my parents hoped for something like that when they gave me up. They imagined I'd have someone to support me when they couldn't anymore – believe me, it wasn't like they didn't care about me."

Geralt just grunted at that. He still wasn't convinced.

Suddenly, a woman came walking along the muddy path, eyes blue like cornflowers. She took one look at the two of them and stopped dead in her tracks. "Julian??" she breathed. Her eyes started tearing up and she hurried closer. Jaskier slid down from Roach, then he froze. "Mother?"

"Oh my God, Julian! I...you...?" She started sobbing and ran towards him. "My boy, my dear sweet boy!" She pulled him into a tight embrace. "There has not a single day gone by that I haven't thought about you ever since we sent you away."

Geralt felt very out of place right now, so he stirred Roach a few steps away from the two of them.

Jaskier hesitated for a second, then he firmly hugged his mother back. She was still in tears when she was asking him: "How are you? What did you they do to you? Gods, I'm so very, very sorry! T-this was just unforgivable..."

She instinctively moved her body between Geralt and her son, almost as if trying to shield him from the witcher.

Jaskier met his mother's eyes, then he swallowed hard and quickly closed the top button of his chemise to hide his scars from her.

"It's alright," he whispered, shooting Geralt a warning glance. Then he continued speaking. "Geralt here bought me right after I arrived at the auction and he's been treating me exceptionally well ever since."

"A witcher?!" Until this point, the woman had apparently not taken a proper look at the alpha that was accompanying her son. Her eyes went wide with fear, she obviously thought that Jaskier didn't dare talk open with her in front of his master. Her crying became more desperate. "My poor boy," she started whispering into his ear, "did he hurt you? Oh Gods, if only I had known..."

Then she let go of Jaskier to drop down to her knees in front of Geralt. "Please, if there's something, anything, I can give you, I will, just...don't keep my boy, he just doesn't deserve to be taken by a witcher. Please, oh please spare him this life of pain, if there's even a shred of kindness in you..."

Jaskier tried to pull his mother back up from where she was crouching in the dirt, but nothing could make her move right now.

Geralt started speaking in a low voice that Jaskier found soothing, however, to those unfamiliar with witchers it probably just sounded cold and threatening. "I do not hold any kind of ownership over your son and he is free to go and start a new life whenever it pleases him to do so."

Jaskier winced at the thought of losing Geralt. Of course, his mother instantly interpreted it the wrong way, thinking the witcher would be mocking her request, and begged: "Will you at least grant me one talk in private with my son?"

"Jaskier?" the witcher asked, making sure it was alright with the omega to be alone with the woman who'd sold him off. "It's okay, Geralt," Jaskier replied firmly and Geralt stirred Roach away from them, giving them some privacy.

Jaskier's mother got up and stared at her son. "Really, I'm fine," Jaskier stated with a small smile, still tugging at the chemise he wore under his colorful doublet. His mother instantly noticed it.

"Is he making you wear this for his own amusement?" she asked with what was probably meant to be sympathy. Jaskier's eyebrows shot up, then he exclaimed: "It was me who purchased it and it's not silly, it just shows that I'm a bard – besides, I really like it!"

His mother was not at all convinced. "He called you 'Jaskier'. Don't tell me he gave you that name for any other reason than humiliation?"

Jaskier indignantly shook his head and if Geralt had still watched them, he'd noticed the similiarities in the way their eyebrows furrowed and their blue eyes grew wide when they were faced with someone completely ignoring their point. "That's my bard name – I chose it myself, thank you very much! Could you maybe stop insulting everything I chose to represent?!" He rolled his eyes at her in that typical way a child does whenever they think their parent is just overreacting. 

His mother knew him well enough to be able to tell that his indignation was real. "He really lets you choose these kinds of things, that's good." She sighed. "That's good." It sounded like she tried to reassure herself.

Then she gently took his hand and pulled it away from where he was still tugging up his chemise. She gasped and pulled at the piece of clothing, revealing a larger part of his skin. Jaskier couldn't hide the expression of pain that was suddenly showing in his eyes. His mother hugged him very tight and despite himself, he started crying. For a few minutes, she just held him and shared his pain in silence.

She noticed that there were scars, older and newer ones, yet no fresh wounds, leading her to believe that he was only hurt like that on certain occasions. "Does he do this while he has his way with you during your heats?" she whispered softly.

Jaskier instantly stopped crying, wiped his eyes and blurted out: "He doesn't lay a single finger on me during my heats." His mother's expression grew sad. She was obviously thinking that Jaskier was lying pathetically to protect his own tormentor. "Julian... ," she slowly shook her had. "...no alpha would be willing to resist an unclaimed omega who is in heat."

"Mother, look me in the eyes while I'm telling you this: Geralt has never, not once, hurt me in the slightest way."

His mother seemed to sense his sincerity but she still couldn't stop looking at his scars. "Then why is your body covered with these?" she whispered.

Jaskier sighed and braced himself. "You know, I wasn't completely honest with you before."

"I knew it, that monster... ," his mother's lips started trembling.

"No, no, not like this," Jaskier quickly interrupted her. "When I told you that Geralt bought me right at the auction, that was a lie. He only found me ten months ago. Please don't ask and let me leave it at that when I tell you that life wasn't good to me before. Anyways, Geralt found me and nursed me back to health again. I owe him my life, I really do. He has been incredibly patient with me and kind and..."

His mother lay a finger on his lips. "Julian, my sweet innocent boy...when someone who doesn't know you at all takes you in like this, they usually expect something in return. Kindness does not come for free in such a situation. You're saying, he's been giving you food and shelter for ten months by now without ever asking anything of you. What is it you're not telling me?"

"Mother, I love him with all my heart. And...I think he loves me too." Jaskier cast his eyes down. Then he added almost stubbornly: "Did you see the lute that was strapped to his horse? He bought this for me because I like playing it. Well, actually I bought it...with his coin...kind of, it's a long story."

His mother seemed to consider his words. Then she asked: "And he has truly never touched you?"

"He only touches me when I want it...where I want it, if you really need to know." Jaskier couldn't help but blush, but he forced himself to add: "And it's always me who starts it because he knows what I've been through, so he never dares to make the first move. Really, sometimes it's annoying how very careful he is with me." Jaskier was surprised that he was spilling intimate details about his love life like that in the first few minutes of their conversation after not having seen his mother in years. But they'd always been close and open with each other before and meeting her right now...for a second there it almost felt like he'd never left.

Even though his mother almost couldn't believe the story she was told, she finally sensed that Jaskier wasn't putting up some act around her. That he was truly happy and at peace...and so very much in love with his witcher.

"Alright, I'll go fetch Geralt so I can properly introduce the two of you," Jaskier chirped, his steps light as a feather now that he had admitted to his feelings and his mother had simply accepted them once she'd started to believe him.

When Geralt shook her hand, he said: "Forgive me, but you will understand that I don't have it in me to ask for your blessing - not with the condition your son was in when we first met. But know this: I will stay at your son's side for as long as he wants me to be there. And if the day should come and he decides that he must walk on a different path, then I will not keep him from it. Instead, I'll simply be glad for the time I was given with him."

Jaskier wanted to nudge Geralt in the ribs and laugh at him for talking like that, but he just found himself silently hugging Geralt very close and they shared a kiss that dispelled every last doubt from his mother's mind that she might've had about their feelings. Then he whispered: "If life sends you a guardian witcher, never let him go...I surely won't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone noticed: Yes, I purposefully let Jaskier's mother repeat Jaskier's “...if there's even a shred of kindness in you“ line from the first chapter. :)  
> Thank you again for all your love and support, writing this story has been such great fun to me! <3 I'm almost a little bit sad that it's over now... ^^  
>  **Almost forgot: If you liked this story, I've written another hurt/comfort fic about Geralt and Jaskier. It's called 'Of Broken Lutes and Caring Witchers'.**  
>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/27008239/chapters/65930440


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